Bald, yet beautiful, the original screenplay!
Lähetetty: Ti 03.10.2006 10:10
The bald, yet beautiful
the original script for episode one
Introduction: We all know the bald, yet beautiful. This well known and dearly loved holodrama series has been with us for decades, shaping holodrama history and human social perception in it's very unique way. However, to those that have been living in a remote mining community for the past decade or so, here is the gist of the thingy:
The bald, yet beautiful spins a tale of a young, very bald, yet startlingy beautiful sage girl Tirlittan. At the beginning of the series, she graduates from an academy and is given a job assisting an ambitous and handsome young inquisitor Janus. As the series unravel, the relationship between the two main protagonists deepens from mere flirtation to true love, and the rest can well be quessed.
The series was an instant hit, gaining fame and fanatical fans as it went on, season after season. And so, when the eagerly anticipated wedding episode was finally shot, millions of fans were on location, cheering the actors on. Unfortunately the series lost most of it's tearful tension, not to mention momentum, after the wedding episode, and thus finally came to a close in the episode 1342.
Note to the original script: Those of you that have seen, or indeed own, the very first episode of this fabulously collectable holodrama series, will no doubt notice this script to have many omissions of dialogue when compared to the holocording. The explanation is as follows: When the episode was shot, the team found out they were missing almost five minutes of screen material. And as the series was back then made with easy style and a shoestring budged, the director of the series ordered the actors to add lib some additional dialogue to fill the given airing time. Naturally, this additional dialogue is missing from this, the original script. But without further ado, here is the script:
The bald, yet beautiful;
Episode one
Scene one:
Location: a busy, formal office of the inquisitor Janus Aquila. It is a rather small room, with two heavy mahogany desks and light grey walls. There are no windows, and only one door. The walls are covered with newsprints scribbled over with red markings. One table is empty. At the other table sits an inquisitor, young, dark and strong of chin. He seems very busy. Suddenly the door opens (outwards) and a young, bald woman enters, hesitantly, with an armload of books and dataslates...
Tirlittan (hesitantly): Excuse me, um, sir...
Janus (without raising his head): yes?
T: Is this the office of inquisitor Aquila?
J (ceases to write, raises his head): Yes it is. And how may I help you, miss?
T (blushes under the look form those handsome blue eyes): Um, sir, they send me from the personnel department... You had required a new sage..?
J: Yes indeed! Any news about him? I'm quite busy here and I simply cannot operate this branch alone, you know.
T: They send me, sir.
J: Yes..?
T (now quite flustered): I mean they send me to be your new sage, sir!
J: Oh! But hang on! -There must be a mistake here!
T (with a slight note of disapproval in her voice): I am a fully qualified sage, sir. I was a valedictorian at the academy, sir.
J: Oh, no, no! I did not mean it that way, miss. I only meant that I'm an inquisitor and this job requires somewhat more, um, masculine sages. Surely you see this, miss. With all the battlefield stuff, banishing daemons of the warp and whatnot. It is a dangerous job, miss, and not for the fainthearted!
T (disappointed): Oh...
J: But please, miss, sit down there at the table and put those books down for a minute. I will call the personnel departmen myself and sort this whole mess out. You can have some gahvey, there is a pan there, under that pile of papers at the corner shelf.
Tirlittan puts her books down at the empty desk and steps up to the gahvey. Janus follows her with his eyes, clearly approving of her feminine looks. He then dials up personnel...
J: Hullo? Personnel? Is it you, Rolfo? Excellent! It's Janus here, from the Malleus! Yes, the daemonhunter! Now listen, old chap, I'm in a bit of a jam here. You see there's this young lady here says she's qualified sage and that you... (longer pause here) Yes. Yes. I see... And you are saying you have no other sage candidates to send up? What with the last three of my sages dying inside three months after taking position? I see. And so I'm stuck with this, this girl now. I see. Oh very well. But do not call me if you happen to find a daemon in your cellar or somesuch. Yes, good day to you as well. Hmph...
Janus looks up to Tirlittan who is sitting on the empty desk, sipping gahvey. Her long legs dangle above the floor in a most delicious fashion. She looks a bit miffed.
J: Look, miss, I'm sorry about all this. And about calling you a girl just then. Only I was a bit miffed with Rolfo at the other end of the line...
T: So they had no other, more masculine sages to send?
J: No. Or so they say anyway. So it seems we are stuck with one another for the time being. Oh well, so be it! Now, my name is Janus Aquila and you can call me Janus here. Mind you, outside office you must call me sir at all times. For the sake of appearances you know. But what is your name, miss, if I may be so bold as to ask..?
T:Its Tirlittan Harrowdale, sir. Janus.
J: Tirlittan? Top Notch! And a valedictorian too, eh, Tirlittan (this with mishievous smile)?
T: That is correct, yes, sir. I mean Janus.
J: Bang on! But now (Janus stands up and puts on his leather jacket) I'm afraid I have to go see some cultists at the arbitor holding cells. You stay here and make yourself comfortable. Go around the offices on this floor, meet up with other inquisitorial personnel, and get to know the place. There's a canteen one floor up when you want to get something to bite. I try to be back before noon, but if I do not show, you can scoot at sixteen hundred. No need to lock the door!
T: Understood, sir.
Janus leaves and Tirlittan watches her receding back with an infatuated, shy smile.
Scene two:
Location: Tirlittan's home. Kitchen. The room is quite spacious, the table, round. Colour theme is dark brown and chrome for the upholstery, natural white for the walls and floors. Tirlittan is dining with her mother, a rather plump woman in mid fifties, and her father, an arbites officer of greying complexion. They are discussing Tirlittan's first working day.
Mother: My daughter graduates with full marks and then ends up working under an inquisitor. An inquisitor! Who could have guessed?!? My friends will be so jealous when I tell them! Now tell me Tirlittan, is this Janus of yours an old coot or a young strapping lad?
Tirlittan (blushing): Oh, he's quite young. Thirty, maybe.
Mother: Oh! And is he handsome? I can see he is the way you're blushing dear! Well, maybe something more than a mere acquaintancy could develop between you two young people...
Father (annoyed): Do not be daft, woman. My daughter flirting with an inquisitor? Never, I say. I well know these inquisitors. Full of themselves. And always using people. Including young women.
Mother: Come now, Herman. That's a bit too dramatic don't you think.
Father: Come yourself, woman, and mark these words: If that young Janus as much as touches my girl I will skewer him with my shock maul! So help me Emperor!
Tirlittan (in tears): You two! You're so, so stupid! (she storms off the table to her room)
Mother: What did we say, now...
Scene three:
Location: Tirlittan's bedroom. A narrow room with small desk and a bed. The colour style is autumn leaves. Tirlittan sits at her bed, holding a large teddy. She is weeping silently. Now she stands and steps in front of a mirror, into which she peers.
T (watching herself in the mirror): They are so stupid. Mother thinking there could be something between me and Janus, and father thinking Janus would start fondling me at the first opportunity. Me? Are they both blind? I'm just a stupid little sage girl with an ugly bald head! Oh, I shall never forgive them for sending me to the academy..!
And so with teary face Tirlittan crawls under her blankets and goes to sleep. Camera zooms to her ah so beautiful face. Cue the end credits.
*********************************
And there you have it! I hope the fans of the series are satisfied now. After all, they have been bothering me about the original script for years! As for comments upon this script, you can write them down below!
the original script for episode one
Introduction: We all know the bald, yet beautiful. This well known and dearly loved holodrama series has been with us for decades, shaping holodrama history and human social perception in it's very unique way. However, to those that have been living in a remote mining community for the past decade or so, here is the gist of the thingy:
The bald, yet beautiful spins a tale of a young, very bald, yet startlingy beautiful sage girl Tirlittan. At the beginning of the series, she graduates from an academy and is given a job assisting an ambitous and handsome young inquisitor Janus. As the series unravel, the relationship between the two main protagonists deepens from mere flirtation to true love, and the rest can well be quessed.
The series was an instant hit, gaining fame and fanatical fans as it went on, season after season. And so, when the eagerly anticipated wedding episode was finally shot, millions of fans were on location, cheering the actors on. Unfortunately the series lost most of it's tearful tension, not to mention momentum, after the wedding episode, and thus finally came to a close in the episode 1342.
Note to the original script: Those of you that have seen, or indeed own, the very first episode of this fabulously collectable holodrama series, will no doubt notice this script to have many omissions of dialogue when compared to the holocording. The explanation is as follows: When the episode was shot, the team found out they were missing almost five minutes of screen material. And as the series was back then made with easy style and a shoestring budged, the director of the series ordered the actors to add lib some additional dialogue to fill the given airing time. Naturally, this additional dialogue is missing from this, the original script. But without further ado, here is the script:
The bald, yet beautiful;
Episode one
Scene one:
Location: a busy, formal office of the inquisitor Janus Aquila. It is a rather small room, with two heavy mahogany desks and light grey walls. There are no windows, and only one door. The walls are covered with newsprints scribbled over with red markings. One table is empty. At the other table sits an inquisitor, young, dark and strong of chin. He seems very busy. Suddenly the door opens (outwards) and a young, bald woman enters, hesitantly, with an armload of books and dataslates...
Tirlittan (hesitantly): Excuse me, um, sir...
Janus (without raising his head): yes?
T: Is this the office of inquisitor Aquila?
J (ceases to write, raises his head): Yes it is. And how may I help you, miss?
T (blushes under the look form those handsome blue eyes): Um, sir, they send me from the personnel department... You had required a new sage..?
J: Yes indeed! Any news about him? I'm quite busy here and I simply cannot operate this branch alone, you know.
T: They send me, sir.
J: Yes..?
T (now quite flustered): I mean they send me to be your new sage, sir!
J: Oh! But hang on! -There must be a mistake here!
T (with a slight note of disapproval in her voice): I am a fully qualified sage, sir. I was a valedictorian at the academy, sir.
J: Oh, no, no! I did not mean it that way, miss. I only meant that I'm an inquisitor and this job requires somewhat more, um, masculine sages. Surely you see this, miss. With all the battlefield stuff, banishing daemons of the warp and whatnot. It is a dangerous job, miss, and not for the fainthearted!
T (disappointed): Oh...
J: But please, miss, sit down there at the table and put those books down for a minute. I will call the personnel departmen myself and sort this whole mess out. You can have some gahvey, there is a pan there, under that pile of papers at the corner shelf.
Tirlittan puts her books down at the empty desk and steps up to the gahvey. Janus follows her with his eyes, clearly approving of her feminine looks. He then dials up personnel...
J: Hullo? Personnel? Is it you, Rolfo? Excellent! It's Janus here, from the Malleus! Yes, the daemonhunter! Now listen, old chap, I'm in a bit of a jam here. You see there's this young lady here says she's qualified sage and that you... (longer pause here) Yes. Yes. I see... And you are saying you have no other sage candidates to send up? What with the last three of my sages dying inside three months after taking position? I see. And so I'm stuck with this, this girl now. I see. Oh very well. But do not call me if you happen to find a daemon in your cellar or somesuch. Yes, good day to you as well. Hmph...
Janus looks up to Tirlittan who is sitting on the empty desk, sipping gahvey. Her long legs dangle above the floor in a most delicious fashion. She looks a bit miffed.
J: Look, miss, I'm sorry about all this. And about calling you a girl just then. Only I was a bit miffed with Rolfo at the other end of the line...
T: So they had no other, more masculine sages to send?
J: No. Or so they say anyway. So it seems we are stuck with one another for the time being. Oh well, so be it! Now, my name is Janus Aquila and you can call me Janus here. Mind you, outside office you must call me sir at all times. For the sake of appearances you know. But what is your name, miss, if I may be so bold as to ask..?
T:Its Tirlittan Harrowdale, sir. Janus.
J: Tirlittan? Top Notch! And a valedictorian too, eh, Tirlittan (this with mishievous smile)?
T: That is correct, yes, sir. I mean Janus.
J: Bang on! But now (Janus stands up and puts on his leather jacket) I'm afraid I have to go see some cultists at the arbitor holding cells. You stay here and make yourself comfortable. Go around the offices on this floor, meet up with other inquisitorial personnel, and get to know the place. There's a canteen one floor up when you want to get something to bite. I try to be back before noon, but if I do not show, you can scoot at sixteen hundred. No need to lock the door!
T: Understood, sir.
Janus leaves and Tirlittan watches her receding back with an infatuated, shy smile.
Scene two:
Location: Tirlittan's home. Kitchen. The room is quite spacious, the table, round. Colour theme is dark brown and chrome for the upholstery, natural white for the walls and floors. Tirlittan is dining with her mother, a rather plump woman in mid fifties, and her father, an arbites officer of greying complexion. They are discussing Tirlittan's first working day.
Mother: My daughter graduates with full marks and then ends up working under an inquisitor. An inquisitor! Who could have guessed?!? My friends will be so jealous when I tell them! Now tell me Tirlittan, is this Janus of yours an old coot or a young strapping lad?
Tirlittan (blushing): Oh, he's quite young. Thirty, maybe.
Mother: Oh! And is he handsome? I can see he is the way you're blushing dear! Well, maybe something more than a mere acquaintancy could develop between you two young people...
Father (annoyed): Do not be daft, woman. My daughter flirting with an inquisitor? Never, I say. I well know these inquisitors. Full of themselves. And always using people. Including young women.
Mother: Come now, Herman. That's a bit too dramatic don't you think.
Father: Come yourself, woman, and mark these words: If that young Janus as much as touches my girl I will skewer him with my shock maul! So help me Emperor!
Tirlittan (in tears): You two! You're so, so stupid! (she storms off the table to her room)
Mother: What did we say, now...
Scene three:
Location: Tirlittan's bedroom. A narrow room with small desk and a bed. The colour style is autumn leaves. Tirlittan sits at her bed, holding a large teddy. She is weeping silently. Now she stands and steps in front of a mirror, into which she peers.
T (watching herself in the mirror): They are so stupid. Mother thinking there could be something between me and Janus, and father thinking Janus would start fondling me at the first opportunity. Me? Are they both blind? I'm just a stupid little sage girl with an ugly bald head! Oh, I shall never forgive them for sending me to the academy..!
And so with teary face Tirlittan crawls under her blankets and goes to sleep. Camera zooms to her ah so beautiful face. Cue the end credits.
*********************************
And there you have it! I hope the fans of the series are satisfied now. After all, they have been bothering me about the original script for years! As for comments upon this script, you can write them down below!