WH40K: Fight for Glory

[The Holy One]

Tossa ois mun tekemä tarina.
Tosin englanniks joten virheitä voi olla jonkun verran toivottavasti saa jotain tolkkuu...

It was early 41st millenium when Ultra Marine Captain Cornelius landed to the
Planet XY337v6, which was founded just few months earlier.
Planet was in the area called "Unknown Territory".
Several hours searching with no point stopped when scout squad Delta report for
unknown activity in sector D. Captain cornelius took 9 marines with him and they get in
to the Rhino. Meanwhile in the sector D, where the scouts were, situation Was getting
hot. There was 10 Kroot Mercenaries and 3 Shas'vre's and one Aun. When Kroots noticed
the scouts the battle was ready to start. Sha'vre's and Aun ran into the cover
when kroots fired scouts with their kroot rifles forcing the scouts to the cover.
In the scout squad was 7 scouts two of them got snipers and 2 of them got shotguns
rest of the squad was armed with close combat weapons. Meanwhile the kroots were
firing the captain Cornelius get into the battle scene, he and he's men ran out
from the rhino firing the kroots with their Bolters. In this short attack the
bolters killed allmost half of the kroot squad,
rest of the squad ran into the cover with aun and he's Shas'vre's.
When Captain Cornelius noticed Aun he yell to scout snipers to fire everything
that moves. Then he gather every men alive including the scouts, to charge with him to
the cover where aun and he's men were. Just few minutes later Cornelius yelled his men
"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE"
while snipers were firing to the enemy positions, Cornelius and his men ran to the
enemy positions, while fire rain from the kroot rifles kills all the scouts and
5 of he's bodyguard marines. When Cornelius and 4 marines who were left from the squad
reached the enemy, they charged to them yelling "To the Glory".
Aun jump straight to the cornelius when leftover kroots and Shas'vre's ran to the
marines hitting them with their weapons. Marines fought back well killing all the
kroots without any losses of their own, but when Shas'vre's came in to the close combat
with them they weren't enough challenge to them any more and they all died taking
2 Shas'vre's with them to the other side. The last Shas'vre ran to the cornelius who
were fighting with Aun, Shas'vre hit him with his cqb weapon but Cornelius managed to
dodge the hit, and pierced him with his Power Sword, but Aun managed to hit Cornelius
to the leg and Cornelius fall into the ground. Cornelius crawled out from the cover and
Aun had to follow him because he wanted to kill cornelius so bad, Aun walked to Cornelius
but he didn't realize that he had just walked in to trap, he just heard gunshot and
he fell down dead.
The scouts ran to Cornelius and they asked him:
"Are you okay, sir"
"yes.... Lift me up...I....can....walk" Whispered Cornelius.
And scouts lift cornelius up and they helpped him to the rhino. When they got back to
the base there were came a note that the ship must leave from the planet, because
Tau fleet is going to get their Aun back.
Cornelius ordered marines to prepare for take of from the planet.
Few minutes later the ship was on it's way to the McRagge.

By. Commander Peter Bay
Ultramarines 5th company

[Tsarizard]

Exitus Acta Probat

[The Holy One]

Exitus Acta Probat

Eli?
:?:

[aaruli96]

luin tuon nyt.

[Häkä-Ässä]

Miksi kirjoitat englanniksi? Ehkä se on hyvää harjoitusta joo, mutta täällä on lähinnä suomenkielistä lukijakuntaa ja lopputulos olisi suomeksi ehkä selkeämpi.

Oma allekirjoituksesi, Se Pyhä Yksilö, sanoo lähinnä että "Exitus Acta Probat".

Ja on muuten aika vanha tarina.

[kartza]

Joo-o. vaikkei englanti ole, kuin 9, voin nyt kuitenkin ilmoittaa, että sanantaivutukset ja artikkelit olivat paikoittain päin hevon**rs*ttä, joten näiden korjaantuessa luulisi tarinan parantuvan raketin tavoin.

Entäs muuta?

Taistelunkulusta sain selvää ja olin osittain mukana koko sähellyksen ajan.

[SPACE MARINE!!!]

Itse (kaikkien muiden mahdollisten korjauksien joukossa) muuttaisin nuo typerät numerot sanoiksi. tiedätähn, kirjoitettuun muotoon.

huomasiko muuten kukaan kuinka vanha tämä tarina on?

[Skidi]

Kiitos päivän nauruista. Miten joku voi olla niin tyhmä että nostaa sotun perustamisvuonna aloitetun topicin.

Otan sekunttikellolla aikaa milloin menee lukkoon.

Sitäpaitti turha sitä holyonea on neuvoa ei ole kirjoittanut yhtään viestiä sitten vuoden -02.