"Epäkelpo lomake" tyyliset virheet kirjautumisessa pitäisi olla nyt historiaa. T. ylläpito

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Onko kynä (tai näppäimistö) miekkaa mahtavampi? Tule ja todista, että näin on - muuten emme usko.
yuriel
Viestit: 27
Liittynyt: Su 25.01.2004 18:51
Paikkakunta: Kirkkonummi

Bat Rep

Viesti Kirjoittaja yuriel »

Tässä jotain luettavaa pelien välillä :)

Raportti taistelusta tyranidien ja Deathwingin välillä.
Valitettavasti teksi on englanniksi, alunperin englanniksi kirjoitettu enkä jaksaisi alkaa kääntämään suomeksi.

Rescue Mission (Deathwing VS Hive Fleet Lepidus)


"Mayday! Mayday! Escalator has fallen, requesting immediate help." Daryl was frustrated. He had been calling out the message continuously for five minutes without getting answer of any kind. Behind him Miranda, Escalator's pilot, was wrapping a bandage around her broken arm, her face twisted with pain. Only ten minutes ago Escalator was still airborne, traveling the orbit of this god forsaken planet when a bright flash was seen and then came the sound of ripping metal as something tore both of the wings from other side of the massive cargo ship. Miranda had managed to bring the ship down in almost one piece, she was an expert pilot and had handled the situation nicely. Only 3 of the 15 people on the ship had died.
"It was a concentrated psionic blast, no doubt." Lieutenant Saryon said as he came into the broken cockpit of the ship. Miranda looked up at him, her face turning even more pale. They all knew what it had to mean.
"We will evacuate to the nearby caves, Dan and Eric are checking them out right now, bring the radio and any extra food and weapons you have with you." The liutenant said, looking at the pilot and the navigator of Escalator with his only eye before turning on his heels and walking down the hall of the ship. Daryl shuddered while gathering the radio in his hands, then he turned around to help Miranda stand. Together they both walked into the darkened halls of the ship, knowing outside could wait the claws and fangs of the mindless predators controlled by the Hive Mind.
Liutenant Saryon was giving orders to his soldiers, he was a hardened veteran of Imperial Guard, elder man who still had a sharp mind. Miranda leaned against Daryl as they walked out of the ship to stand with the two mechanics who had their hands full of equipment. They watched in silence as Saryon ordered his remaining five men to quickly gather the equipment. Saryon turned to look towards the nearby hills, and in a moment a green light flashed from the darkened hills. Saryon smiled and turned to his men.
"Let's move, we will find shelter from the caves and hope the creatures will only be interested in the cargo." He said as he started quickly marching towards the hills, his men and the crew of Escalator following close behind.
Saryon walked quickly, he knew they would not have much time to find shelter. He also knew the creatures wouldn't be satisfied with only the cargo. No, these monsters wanted anything which was of biological mass.
They arrived at the cave, Dan was laying outside the entrance on his stomach, watching the silent planet through binoculars. Eric sat nearby, his adding ammo to the clips of his assault rifle. Saryon moved in the cave, the rest of the men coming behind him.
"Make yourself home, this will be our home for a moment now. Daryl keep on with the radio till you can't make a sound anymore, we will need backup." Then he pointed at the mechanics and Miranda and told them to stay there and eat a little, after which he went outside with his men. Daryl put down the radio and started sending the message again. At the cave entrance the soldiers quickly put together a machine gun on a tripod, two men sitting beside it, a loader and a gunner for the massive gun.
"This is Captain Thetius, we have picked up your location, rescue team is on its way. ETA 15 minutes." The radio buzzed with clear, deep voice. Daryl jumped from joy and looked around the cave with a smile on his face. Other of the soldiers spread the news to Saryon outside the cave, from where cheers could be heard. Daryl was happy, he knew he could always trust on the legendary space marines. He had seen a few of them, and many of their massive battleships cruising in the space. Now they would only have to wait for 15 more minutes.
"Enemy sighted." Came the call from outside. Daryl rose and quietly walked outside of the cave, crawling beside Dan and Saryon who both were laying on their stomach on the ground, watching the desert around them with binoculars. In the light of the setting sun he could see movement in quite far away from the wreckage. Movement which came closer rapidly. Dan gave his binoculars to Daryl so he could see. Daryl fixed his vision on the oncoming monstrosities which raised a cloud of dust in to the air while moving over the desert. Atleast dozen four armed, greyish skinned creatures ran gracefully over the rocks and the sand. Upper pair of their arms ended in razor sharp claws, the lower pair into a fingered hands with blades at the end of the fingers, blades which looked like overgrown nails to Daryl. The monsters tongues hanged out of their mouth, slithering, tasting the air like snake's tongue. Daryl found himself thinking they were beautiful and graceful, despite their horrific claws and fangs.
Rapidly the creatures ran to the wreckage, they didn't care for the door. Daryl saw how talons flashed in the last rays of the setting sun, and descended on to the thick armour of the aeroplane, cracking the thick metal plates open. Faster than Daryl could understood what had happened the monsters had slashed a hole into the hull and entered the craft.
"More coming." Said Saryon with a quiet voice, looking west of the wreckage. Daryl quickly moved his gaze over there, seeing another dozen of the same four armed beasts, and slightly behind them raced something tiny. Daryl could percept their movement, but could not see any details of the small critters.
First came a huge thumbing sound which echoed from the hills, a huge dust cloud raising from the desert. Everyone's eyes fixed on it, same with the binoculars. In moments the dust started settling down, revealing a metallic drop pod and the huge men in complete white Tactical Dreadnought Armour. Five terminators poured out of the drop pod, moving towards the wreckage. Men on the hill cheered. Terminators, the finest of Imperium's soldiers. Dressed in Tactical Dreadnought Armour, from which the name terminator was derived from, they could stand an impact from a rocket launcher and continue forward without even shuddering.
The creatures also seemed to notice their appearance, the monsters changed their course and started rapidly moving towards the advancing terminators. A little further away from the terminators a brood of winged creatures appeared. They raised their bio-weapons, their legless bodies gliding in the air as they flapped their leathery wings, moving towards the terminators from behind. And behind the little ones appeared a huge winged monstrosity. Its maw was wide open, as it flapped its massive wings, making a huge leap with ease. Its snake like body slithering as it landed next to the brood of the smaller flyers. The creature gracefully moved its four arms, every arm ending into massive talon atleast twice the height of a man. Daryl watched in amazement, his mouth hanging open as the huge creature made another huge jump. Saryon cursed, still peering into the darkness with his binoculars.
At that moment a serie of thumbing sounds echoed from the hillside. Two more drop pods had fallen, and more terminators poured out of them. The terminators opened fire with their guns, the massive sized, two barreled storm bolters roared to life, spitting out explosive bullets towards the creatures.
Daryl moved his gaze just in time to see something jump from the sand in middle of the first terminator squad, the creature was atleast twice the side of the terminators around him, bearing huge blade like talons it started slashing around. But the battle hardened terminators turned on to the creature, and a deadly dance began. Soon enough a bunch of small organisms came, Daryl could not figure a better name for them. They were tiny, the size of a cat, but there were many of them. The same moment they charged into the fray with the terminators Daryl understood these had been the tiny critters he had seen moving. Daryl couldn't get a good view on the huge brute fighting in middle of the terminators, the monster's skin seemed to change color along with its background. The creature sliced around itself wildly, its razor sharp claws cutting one of the terminators in half.
At the other part of the field the terminators combined their fire on a squad of advancing smaller creatures, flamers, multi-barreled assaults cannons and storm bolters roared. Within seconds dozen of the creatures had turned into a piles of flesh on the ground, black blood spilling out of their bodies.
Behind the fallen more monsters appeared. A huge headed creature with barely any kind of claws and a snake like body slithered forward majestically. A little bit north of them a brood of smaller critters emerged, bounding and leaping forward with an agility of ballet dancer. And behind them came another huge monstrosity. Its upper arms contained huge talons, its lower arms mutated into a gun. At both side of it walked what seemed to be like its guardians, only slightly smaller the creatures looked exactly identical. The two arms on their left side had grown together, forming a huge shield, the lower one on the right side ending into a whip looking fleshy snares and the upper arm containing a huge claw. Slight behind them came two more of the huge headed creatures, advancing in steady pace behind what Daryl supposed being their leader. That and the winged one. He was sure of it.
Men around him were breathing in short gasps as they watched the bloody battle, everyone trying to quess the outcome, everyone of them hoping for best.
Daryl turned his gaze back to the winged creatures, seeing them opening fire to the terminators who turned to face them. The poison coated needles bounced harmlessly off the thick terminator armour, but what came next made Daryl gasp. The winged monster stopped momentarily, a huge blue bolt of light traveled in a straight line from it, directly into the squad before it, turning one of the terminators into a pool of molten flesh and armour. The creature screamed, the horrific high pitched noise echoing from the hills. Daryl could not tell whether it was a scream of joy, or a combat challenge, if it meant anything at all. Then the smaller winged creatures and the huge horrific beast jumped on the terminators, charging them wight lightning fast speed. The smaller critters spat out green glowing plasma balls as they closed in, coating the terminator's pure white armour with green plasma which sizzled on their armours but did not have the power to melt it. The terminators quickly killed a few of the smaller winged creatures, but as they died the huge monstrosity charged in. It struck with amazing speed compared to its huge size, the enormous claws shredding the terminator armour like paper, three fell to the claws of the beast before the terminators had even time to react to this new threat.
On the other part of the battlefield a terminator was pulling his power fist out of the chest of the chameleoline creature, the creature laying motionless on its back on the ground. Daryl watched as the squad's flamer burned the last of the small, cat sized critters into a roast. Just as he sighed in relief for the terminators, a brood of man sized beasts reached the terminators, leaping high into the air and landing on top of their armoured opponents with grace and agility, their claws bouncing off the thick armour. Terminators retaliated the fast assault, their movements controlled by their battle hardened instincts and experience. Power fists raised and lowered, slowly but forcefully hammering the creatures into pieces with their huge fists, which were designated for close combat.
Huge thumbing sounds came again as two more drop pods fell from the sky, other landing near the winged monster, other near the lone terminator squad on the far side of the battlefield. Sounds of roaring landing engines echoed over the field as an enormous metallic walker landed on the battlefield. A dreadnought had entered, aiming its twin-linked lascannon to one of the huge headed psyker beasts. Almost two meters long barrels pointed at the creature, a beam of laser hitting from the barrels towards the creature, its psychic shield flashed but gave way for the strong energy attack. The laser beam continued its travel after it had penetrated the creature's head.
Terminators armed with lightning claws dashed from out of the drop pod, rushing towards their fellows battling with the agile little creatures, the electricity of their claws clearly visible in the darkness of the night, blue arcs of energy crackled at the tips of those strong blades. Charging into the fray, their arms held wide for deadly embrace of their claws. The creatures were able to rip open two of the terminators' armours, killing two men just before the claw armed unit appeared. The claws raised and slashed along side with their brethren's power fists. Creatures fell like wheat before a scythe.
From the other drop pod emerged only two figures, other of them wearing a matching white armour to his men, the armour was ornate, clearly old. The man carried a giant sized black sword in his hand, other hand wielding a storm bolter. By his side walked a man with completely contrasting armour, his was black. From the book sign on his shoulder Daryl guessed the man to be a librarian, a psyker. Together with his leader he charged towards the hulking, winged brute who just ripped apart the last of the terminators it faced, quickly spinning to face the incoming threat. A battle started, the huge creature used its longer reach for an advantage, moving rapidly from side to side by using its snake like body and huge wings. In reality the battle lasted no longer than fifteen seconds, but for Daryl it seemed like eternity. The librarian leaped forward, plunging his sword under the creatures ribcage, just to be cut in half by the enormous claws. The leader of the force moved forward, hitting his blade into the monsters throat. The monster shudder and fell forward, with its last strenght biting off the head of the terminator leader.
Daryl's heart sank. He could see the terminators being slaughtered in everywhere of the field. Imperium's finest were going to be wiped out by... by mere mindless critters! He sighed, fixing his gaze just in time to see the dreadnought falling, to the ground and exploding to pieces. Saryon turned to him, holding his pistol for him.
"Take this my friend, make sure they will not find Miranda and yourself alive..." His voice swept into silence as he turned to ready his gun.
Daryl raised from the ground, turning towards the cave and started slowly walking in, never to come out alive...
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( o.0 ) Yuriel's Legion
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Ukkosleka
Viestit: 829
Liittynyt: La 09.11.2002 13:16
Paikkakunta: Tampere

Viesti Kirjoittaja Ukkosleka »

*Huokaus*

Kaunista...
Cleanse and purify!
yuriel
Viestit: 27
Liittynyt: Su 25.01.2004 18:51
Paikkakunta: Kirkkonummi

...

Viesti Kirjoittaja yuriel »

*kumartaa*

Kiitoksia.
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( o.0 ) Yuriel's Legion
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Rune
Peliporukkavalvoja
Viestit: 6376
Liittynyt: Ma 06.01.2003 14:18
Paikkakunta: Joensuu

Viesti Kirjoittaja Rune »

Voi hel***ti... Voi hel***tin hel***ti... Olisit osallistunut tällä novellikilpailuun, olisit saanu minulta viisi pistettä jo ensimmäisten lauseiden takia. Kiitos, oli nimittäin paras teksti mitä olen koskaan, koskaan lukenut sotavasarassa oloaikanani. Joku voi ohjata minut vielä tästä parempaan tekstiin jos sellasita löytää, mutta epäilen vahvasti. Teksti oli täydellistä. (tosin siellä oli yksi sana väärin, mutta sillä ei ole niin mitään väliä) Lisää tällaista, heti!! :D
#Ostium
http://cabal-ostium.blogspot.fi/

For a Pessimist, I'm pretty Optimistic
yuriel
Viestit: 27
Liittynyt: Su 25.01.2004 18:51
Paikkakunta: Kirkkonummi

...

Viesti Kirjoittaja yuriel »

*kumartaa uudemman kerran*

Kiitoksia oikein paljon Rune, enpä tullut ajatelleeksi ottaa osaa mihinkään kilpailuun tällaisella tekstillä. Ehkä joku päivä :)

Lisää tekstiä postitan myöhemmin, kun on jotain kunnollista kirjoitettuna eikä vain muutamia summittaisia lauseita seuraavaa teksti osuutta varten.
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( o.0 ) Yuriel's Legion
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Andromedus
Viestit: 1968
Liittynyt: Su 06.10.2002 19:57
Paikkakunta: Savonlinna, Itäisten arojen linnake

Viesti Kirjoittaja Andromedus »

Todella hyvä tarina! Mutta ihmisistä olisin toivonut vähän enemmän kuvauksia. Ötököiden kuvaukset aika hyvät mutta graxeful sanaa käytit paljon(ei se ole paha sinänsä). Kielioppi/kirjoitusvirheitä oli jonkin verran mutta eivät tarinaa pilanneet.
Jatka samaan malliin!
On se kumma että sain potkut työstäni vaikken mitään tehnyt.
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Guardsman
Viestit: 2053
Liittynyt: Ti 21.01.2003 17:49
Paikkakunta: Salo
Viesti:

Viesti Kirjoittaja Guardsman »

Jees, kyllä noista itse taisteluista tulee ne parhaimmat tarinat. Loppua päin terminaattoreiden teurastus kävi jo vähemmän kuvaannolliseksi, mutta ehkä parempi niin. Pieniä kirjoitus virheitä, mutta muuten oikein hyvää juttua ja lisää sitten vain :D

OT: Kumalla armeijalla pelasit...?
Our navigators consider it highly probable that they'll end up here.
yuriel
Viestit: 27
Liittynyt: Su 25.01.2004 18:51
Paikkakunta: Kirkkonummi

Nids

Viesti Kirjoittaja yuriel »

Nideillä pelasin tuota ottelua.

Kiitoksia kommenteista, hyvä että ihmiset pitivät.

Tällä hetkellä on kirjoituksen alla Yuriel's Legionin (Emperor's Children armeija) eka ottelu, josta on hieman aikaa mutta en ole saanut tekstiä vielä valmiiksi. Saati sitten armeijaa maalatuksi ;)

Mutta sekin ilmestyy tuossa jossain vaiheessa, englannin kielisenä myöskin.
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( o.0 ) Yuriel's Legion
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