Meeting of Horus and his chosen ones. (Feat. Chaos)

[Thelacan]

Juu-u, parodian kirjoittelin huvin vuoksi nyt. Ei taida olla kummoinen mutta teinpähän kumminkin.

---------------------------------------------------

Horus gazed over his champions, the corrupted Primarchs. Then he spoke.
"As you all know, it is time for our Annual Meeting ritual where we told the summary of our deeds in the past year, which has been denied by the pity Corpse God. Thus was the main reason I wanted to seize the control, for allowing the annual reports been told around the camp fire, scaring the s**t out of us. But it was the Chaos which did that, and nowdays we ain't some smelly piece of s**t."
Everyone in the room nodded their acknowlage to the Warmaster who has been put on the Silver throne. Abaddon sat right opposite of the table, five Primarchs of Chaos sat on the each side of the table.
"Konrad! Stop that playing and come out. We all know you ain't really dead!" Horus suddenly shouted. When no answer comes for a while he sent one of the slaves to check the broom closet.
"It's empty my master!" the slave yelled. Then all the slaves around the room starts looking from everywhere of the room for Konrad, under the table, behind the throne, everywhere! And they come up with nothing and for this Angron chops the heads of every slave until the last one backs to the dark corner and hits something. The slave turns to see what it is and puts on the flashlight and shouted from surprise.
"I have founded Konrad, my master!"
"What the bloody hell do you do there!?" Horus shouted angrily.
"I prefer to be in the dark..." Konrad whispered.
"Urgh, whatever dude." Angron said and sat back to his seat.
"Now we can start this meeting officially. But first... You all could start telling to everyone what was your last year like." Horus said.
"I have been killing again many imperialis with my Black Crusade." Abaddon stated.
"Yeah, and I have been digging many bunkers, foxholes and trenches more." Perturabo slipped in.
"But your world is already full of them." Horus said, bit wondering.
"Ah, but I have build them on top of the old ones." Perturabo answered smiling.
"But trench warfare is for whimps and pussies!" Angron roared.
"Mmm... Pussies..." whispered Fulgrim. Suddenly everyone starts throwing papers and paperplanes and pencils and stuff like that, even slaves.
"Order! ORDER!!" Horus shouted. He manages to get some order after he had threated them with singing an old ballad about Emperor.
"Now... Mortarion could start telling us his report." Horus stated. Mortarion stoods up and greets everyone bit nervously.
"Hi, I'm Mortarion... And I have some personal... err... hygiene problem... And I ha-"
"Mortarion, this is not some helpgroup, ok?" Abaddon stops him. Mortarion sat back sheepishly.
"Wait wait wait... Abaddon, don't interrupt everytime, ok?" Horus said.
"Fulgrim... Stop that goddamn wanking for a while. And could somebody fetch a muzzle for Angron? He is biting everyone again. And bucket around his neck, he drools too much, the table is almost floating with his drool." Horus shouted angrily. Slaves fetched a bucket and a muzzle for Angron but it took about twenty slaves to get him still and thrity were already dead. After a quarter of a hour, or maybe a five minutes, who knows? Time flows differently in the warp, he had got depressed when they managed to get the muzzle on. Angron had tried to get it off with his back paw without result luckily. He started to scratch his back, accepting the inevitable.
"Now..." Horus said, looking around as much as his head could turn. He sighed with frustration.
"Konrad, come down from the ceiling." When no answer came he lifted his remaining talon and shot at the ceiling. With surprise to everyone Konrad falled to the table, stone cold dead.
"Well at last some of the imperial propaganda holds some thruth." Horus said and tried to smile but all he managed to do was to drop his lower denture.
"I could change your dentures into a real one and give some extra on there." Magnus the Red suggested to Horus. Horus tried to shot Magnus but hit only a slave which fly over the room because Angron went his frustration on it.
"Ahh..." Fulgrim suddenly moaned and everyone gazed him.
"Wha? Can't a man get some pleasure sometime?" Fulgrim asked.
"You are disgusting." Horus stated and shaked his head.
"Yeah dude, you suck!" Angron growled within the muzzle. Fulgrim's face turned in to a serious look.
"Yes, I do." he said calmly.
"Alpharius, don't mess those papers, they're important." Horus said.
"But I'm just planning sneaky inflintration plans to that broom closet..." Alpharius hissed. Lorgar started to preach about something nonsense and everybody started to fight again each others. Horus moaned with frustration.
"Emperor was right, these meetings are so heresy..." And then Horus pulled lever which was next to him and the Silver throne vanished with him. Abaddon looked plankly for a second before he joined the fray.
"You numbnuts, you've done it again! You're gonna be so dead." Abaddon shouted and tried to shoot all of them but he hadn't remembered to clean his intergrated combi-bolter on his talon, mostly because no-one uses him in the games and he hadn't shot nothing for a past decade. He murmured something about Chaos, disorder and Corpse god before he left the room, leaving the others to fight with themselves.

[JuhoL]

ymmärrän kyllä englantia, mutta mikset voinut suomeksi kirjoittaa sitä, vai oletko englannin kielinen ja kirjoitat mieluummin äidinkielelläsi?! mutta kyllä oli hupaisa stoori!

[Thelacan]

Mielestäni kuulostaa paaljon järkevämmältä englannin kielisenä, olen tottunut siihen kun niin kauan näitä hammereita nyt harrastanut.

[Cologne]

Hauska oli tosiaan... ja ei tuossa englannin kielellä kirjoittamisella vikaa jos tekijä haluaa kenties lähettää sen myös jonnekkin missä suomi ei ole valtakielenä?

[weis]

Hyvää työtä Paikoin hieman sekava mutta todella hyvä.

[Rectunator]

Hassu. "Well at last some of the imperial propaganda holds some thruth." Repesin tuossa täysin. Hyvä juttu.