You know you have played too much warhammer when…

[Mazu]

Löysin tällaisen hauskan tiedoston netistä, valitettavasti se on englanniksi mutta sen ei pitäisi tuottaa liika vaikeuksia kun koko peli muutenkin on englanninkielinen. Nauttikaa!:D

You know you have played too much warhammer when…

1. You got hit by a car and wondered how many impact hits it caused.
2. Your cat "ambushes" you and you call it a dirty rotten beast"man" by mistake.
3. Your girlfriend automatically "dispels" any arguments you might have against her parents coming for dinner.
4. Go spelunking hoping to find a dwarven hall.
5. You wake up in the morning and fail your "stupidity" test, and do stupid things all day.
6. Every one at the emergency ward knows you as "the guy who always super glues himself together."
7. When you start to get scared that your good friend threats of taking over the world with a massive Undead army are true...
8. The only reason you oppose the War in Iraq because it wasn't a fair fight point wise.
9. You would rather paint up some minis than go out with a Girl.
10. The Sunlight hurts your eyes.
11. You play entire 2000pt battles inside your head, using mathamatical probabilities to decide the outcome of each fight, including VPs, combat res, etc.
12. You practice dice rolling on a regular basis, feeling that there must be some sort of technique to it.
13. You plan an invasion of your neighbour's house.
14. Your skin begins to turn green after painting your 9026th goblin.
15. You ask if you can enroll in elven history at school.
16. You wonder what Morgianna le Fey wears to bed.
17. You turn the von Carsein story into a romance novel.
18. You wonder why the US army hasn't yet come up with the Doomwheel.
19. You are upset when you are forced to re-write your definition of greenskin when the lizardmen came out.
20. You start to confide in your miniatures.
21. You ask the petshop guy for a snotling for your youngest child.
22. You attempt to sell your soul to Chaos.
23. You actually think you sold your sold to Chaos, and not some GW employee named Gil...
24. You sharpen your toiletbrush in case of a skaven sewer invasion.
25. You wonder if there's a way to shrink historic buildings to use as terrain.
26. You model furniture for your model houses.
27. You tear up your forbidden rod card, burn it and scatter the ashes.
28. You start to ask for Bugman's at the local pub.
29. You consider a Chaos Dwarf hat fashion.
30. You spend sleepless night's worrying about the helm of many eyes/ Double Handed weapon issue.
31. You tell your fiancee that her engagement ring is the ring of corin.
32. You wonder if you can deadlock your neighbour's lawnmower at five o'clock in the morning.
33. You buy a pet rat and name it Queek.
34. You consider buying a chariot for your next car.
35. You consider voting chaos at the next elections.
36. You Mental Duel your friends.
37. You play warhammer at realistic scales ie. on an oval and sneer at those who don't.
38. You wonder if your tadpoles will grow into skinks or sauruses.
39. You yelled out tactics to Mel Gibson throughout the screening of "Braveheart".
40. You try to locate your town on the old world map.
41. You make small offerings to Chaos before an important die roll.
42. You write a biology essay on how Goblins reproduce.
43. You laugh every time you hear the "Itzi bitzi, Tenehuini, yellow polka dot bikini" song.
44. You tattoo yourself with the skaven symbol.
45. You begin to write in dwarven runes.
46. You paint your models in a camouflage scheme. You repaint them before every game to match the scenery.
47. You cry when your general dies. You hold a funeral for him.
48. You re-write the rulebook
49. You start a motion to add more distance to the inch.
50. You start to gain a skaven accent.
51. You publish the liber bubonicus.
52. You grow bansai trees on your table to use as scenery.
53. You invent statistics and special rules for your girlfriend. You give them to her as valentine's gift.
54. You send your scripts for "Gotrek and Felix- fearless warriors" to the local TV channel.
55. When asked who your heroes are, you answer, "usually one plague priest leading the plague monks and a few chieftans scattered around the clanrats."
56. You work out every single 2000pt skaven army allowable under the rules. You keep them all in a filing cabinet.
57. You start to call your mother-in-law Hellebron.
58. You have a two sheds full of polystyrene.
59. You write as your new year's resolution, "to fulfill the grail quest."
60. You install a screaming bell instead of a car horn.
61. You create WHFB-WH40k-Necromunda-Epic to allow you to use all of your models at once.
62. You ask the airlines if you can fly gyrocopter.
63. You wonder at what altitude an aeroplane could be considered "flying high."
64. You take the time to read 100+ E-mails a day about WHFB and are able to convince yourself that its worth the effort!
65. You refer to your car as a steam tank and calculate how many hull points you have left after a crash.
66. When you carry around a couple of dice in your back pocket for those undecided times
67. When you refer to your cooker as the halfling hot pot
68. When you refer to your mates as filthy skaven deserving of a dwarven axe
69. When static grass begins to look better than real life grass
70. When you wish you could be in the warhammer world
71. When you begin finding that you havent been in any other shop than games workshop for well over a year
72. When the store manager becomes your best friend lol
73. When every room in your house has something from the warhammer world displayed in it
74. You end you're prayers with "juigmar's name, Amen"
75. You have a pot of boiling oil by you're drains incase of a skaven attack.
76. You write a letter to you're local elector count to camplain about the state of the provences road network.
77. You write a letter to you're local MP to complain that making the new dustbin wagons unbreakable is cheesy.
78. You start muttering "***** elf" under you're breath every time you walk past a tall slim pale skinned person.
79. You start a campaign to slaughter all squid because you're sure those tentacles are mutations of chaos.
80. You never accept a drinking contest with a short bearded man.
81. You think you will be ok in a bar fight because the table and beer bottle you're fighting with should confer a 5+ save.
82. You punch someone you roll a D6 to see if you got a killing blow.
83. You are having an arguement and wonder how many wounding hits you're opponent has caused.
84. You lie awake at night wonderring how orcs are born
85. Your wife mentions she has to stop by the local crafts store for scrap booking materials and you perk up and ask if you can go along (to look for odd bits of terrain, base material or what ever)
86. You're stuck in traffic and think how nice it would be to cast the Steed of Shadows spell, then argue with yourself and decide the Cloak of the Dunes would be better
87. You come by a recent car accident with all your minis in the trunk, and instantly start to despair how bad it would be to loose those. And never stop to think about the car or your life.
88. You move to Des Moines, Iowa in the hope it will curry favor for your Chaos army from the god, Khorne
89. You size up your local minister during the homily to determine if he'd make it as a warrior priest (mine wouldn't but the choir leader would look mighty fine sitting a horse in the middle of a Lance)
90. Your wife calls down to the basement asking how much longer you'll be painting fig's and you answer "10 minutes" > an hour later you go upstairs and find her in bed wearing skimpy red lingerie.... and she's fast asleep (Doh!)
91. When you and your friends walk around in square formations so you can recieve a rank bonus
92a. When you refer to your teacher as the keeper of secrets (exam papers etc.), or in some cases snotlings.
92b. And concerning last year, changer of ways (when they changed the grades on the A level/GCSE papers last year)
93. You try to Skitterleap yourself out of class
94. You cast titilating dilusions on the proffesor to go somewhere, steal a hall pass and hop into your steed of Slannesh (which is accualy your beat up Pontiac) and march away 20" a turn
95. When you wake up in the morning, go outside, lick your finger and stick it in the air to try to find out if the winds of magic will be good today.
96. When you dig a hole in your yard telling everyone who asks that you're looking for Skavenblight, then you pat your sword next to you and wink.
97. When your cool friend says "I just got with that hot cheerleader Josie" and you say "Does she have six boobs?" and he says "No" and you say "then she's nothing compared to my Feárendle" and you pat your pocket containing a daemonette model.
98. When a hot girl trips infront of you and asks you to help her out and you say "Sorry I gotta go paint".
99. When you meet a midget and say "Where do you keep your gold?"
100. When the jock at school pushes you over in the halls and you get up and say "I can beat you in warhammer any day, loser!" then run and cry.
101. When the teacher in school asks you what you're favourite sport is, and you say "warhammer".
102. When the firebell rings at school and you yell out "It was Archaon! He has come with his evil legions! Run now!" then run out the door flailing.
103. When you see a shooting star at night with your girlfriend and say "Allright, where's the wizard, you stay here, you should be safe" and run off, sword drawn searching for the mage.
104. When you catch a fish then continually ask it if it's part of a sea man army.
105. And...When that fish finally dies in your hands, you cry outloud in horror screaming "What have I done? They will avenge I'm sure! I am doomed!"
106. When your late to work cause you were gluing your new minis together in a mad rush, wonder all day why people give you strange looks, and discover later at home theres a plastic orc superglued to the arse of your pants. ... So thats where that went ?
107. When you guess a range for the cannonball standing on a bus stop to hit this dirty big chariot called by some people "BUS"
108. When you go to the road and mesure above....
109. When you drive your car 200 Kmph and when stopped by police you explain that you must hurry cause the Chaos Gate has opened....
110. You use a scatter dice to help you walk.
111. You wake up in horror after rolling a miscast in your dream.
112. You are in art musuems thinking all the marble statues would really look cool painted.
113. White Dwarf stacks are higher than Playboy stacks in your room.
114. You've been pissed off by Games Workshop so much, that you've given in and realize that you'll just have to get better jobs that pay more, so some Brit can take all your money because the newest toys soilders stats are the best ever.
115. You listen to the "Shadow of the Horned Rat" soundtrack religiously.
116. Twin Tailed Comet plaques hang above your doorway.
117. You lost a finger to an exacto, and glued it back with Zap.
118. When your dog changed into a flash-hound and you call him Sigmar
119. When you paint yourself green, start grunting and hitting anyone you see screaming at the top of your lungs "WAAAAGH!"
120. When your wife has the games store on speed dial to be able to find you.
121. When you intentionally switch to PB&J sandwiches twice a day to afford that new regiment you've wanted so badly.
122. When you take style cues from your favorite mini. (ie your barber knows the "slayer" cut)
123. You were REALLY rooting for Helm's Deep to get crushed, and were pissed da boyz didn't pull it off.
124. You run your favorite hero in a RPG to get the whole experience.
125. You can't wait for halloween because your wife will let you dress her up, but you're torn between flavors of elven women to go for.
126. You think about buying new rims for your car with spikes on the hubs to up the impact hits.
127. You routinely patrol graveyards with blunt weapons to make sure the gits are staying dead.
128. You delay your trip to Egypt until you nail down your anti Khemli strategy.
129a. You ever wonder what snotling tastes like.
129b. You make up recipes.
129c. You simulate as closely as possible and actually try them out
130. You start grumbling at King Arthur movies when they don't show proper respect for the Lady of the Lake.
131. You can guess the generation of spawning just by licking a toad, and are working on it for lizards.
132. You think it would be cool to party with some drunken goblins, but then you realize your dwarven neighbors would freak.
133. You taste test paint before buying it.
134. You wonder why they don't load up their catapults with garlic and wooden stakes when facing VC.
135. You agonized over the names of your children because you used all the good ones on your heros.
136. You and your mates are currently in negotiations with GW to open a "Bugman's" themed pub.
137. Your christmas village mantle decorations are actually themed warhammer terrain.
138. Your major in the univesity is genetics because you'd love a griffon for a pet.
139. You go to a renaissance festival dressed as your favorite hero, and wear out the ears of the guys that work there when asked who you are.
140. You walk through a pet store and thought you saw the hamsters(skaven)in formation
141. When all your friends refer to you as "the crack dealer" since you were the first to start to play and showed them all those neat white dwarf mags (btw the first is for free, but a friend a mag and they usually get into warhammer i have found
142. When you can't play any other game without resorting to D6 and armoursaves - "No checkmate! My king has a 4+ wardsave!"

[Blackguard]

Wanha kuin taivas...


...mutta silti jaksoi naurattaa.

[Heretic]

alko muutuun vähän tylsäksi loppua kohden

[Kauppias]

Taitaa olla tullut uusia viime kerrasta. Jotkut noista ovat todella hauskoja, ja tunnustan että olen tehnyt jotain noista.

[Zekta]

Hauskojahan nuo.

Itsekkin olen kyllä nähnyt nuo jo aikaisemmin, mutta sinne oli ilmestynyt muutama uusikin. Esim tuo 1.

[Pjoo]

Moni oli aika tylsiä, mutta oli siellä hyviäkin kuten Ensimmäinen ja Kahdeksas.

[Maybach]

Olet pelannut liikaa warhammeria kun... todellä ymmärrät nämä vitsit.

[figunarkki]

39. You yelled out tactics to Mel Gibson throughout the screening of "Braveheart".

En muuten tiennykkää että meidän isukki pelaa WHta, ihan totta.

[tneva82]

"You re-write the rulebook"

Hei! Mikäs vika tuossa on

No ok en ole tehnyt mutta on käynyt mielessä, varsinkin 40k:n puolella(onneksi toinen laitos pelasti tuolta urakalta).

[Karu]

Wanha!

Mutta silti pelottavan moni noista pätee minuun...

"You come by a recent car accident with all your minis in the trunk, and instantly start to despair how bad it would be to loose those. And never stop to think about the car or your life. "

Näinpä on mulle itseasiassa käynyt . Paitsi että ajoin pyörällä yhteen auton kanssa. (Pyörä solmussa, joka paikka veressä ja ensimmäiseksi katson ovatko figut kunnossa.)

[Arathon]

Joo hyviähän nuo ovat. Taitaa olla jo toinen kerta(ainakin) kun nuo ovat täällä esillä?

[Grom]

"You come by a recent car accident with all your minis in the trunk, and instantly start to despair how bad it would be to loose those. And never stop to think about the car or your life. "

Näinpä on mulle itseasiassa käynyt . Paitsi että ajoin pyörällä yhteen auton kanssa. (Pyörä solmussa, joka paikka veressä ja ensimmäiseksi katson ovatko figut kunnossa.)

Minä taas olen miettinyt, että jos kotini vaikka syttyisi palamaan, niin liekkien keskeltä pelastaisin figuni. Miettikää nyt sitä aikaa, joka niiden maalaamiseen on käytetty. Vakuutuksella ei saa samanlaisia.

[Hiirellinen veneitä]

"You come by a recent car accident with all your minis in the trunk, and instantly start to despair how bad it would be to loose those. And never stop to think about the car or your life. "

Näinpä on mulle itseasiassa käynyt . Paitsi että ajoin pyörällä yhteen auton kanssa. (Pyörä solmussa, joka paikka veressä ja ensimmäiseksi katson ovatko figut kunnossa.)

Minä taas olen miettinyt, että jos kotini vaikka syttyisi palamaan, niin liekkien keskeltä pelastaisin figuni. Miettikää nyt sitä aikaa, joka niiden maalaamiseen on käytetty. Vakuutuksella ei saa samanlaisia.

Yksi samanlainen täälläkin, tosin minulle varmaan kävisi hullusti niiden liekkien kanssa, kun joutuisin juoksemaan ympäri taloa kuuden armeijan ja hyvin seikoittetujen maalien perässä.

[pentti]

Minä taas olen miettinyt, että jos kotini vaikka syttyisi palamaan, niin liekkien keskeltä pelastaisin figuni. Miettikää nyt sitä aikaa, joka niiden maalaamiseen on käytetty. Vakuutuksella ei saa samanlaisia.

Meilläpä kävi tuo, paloi talo.. Yksi harvoista kokonaan säilyneistä huoneista oli warhammer-huone, joka oli vastikäisen talon uudelleenjärjestelyn tulos! Kohtalo pisti ruskean peukkunsa peliin. Kaveri kun kuuli, kysyi ekana: "Onksunwarhammeritkunnos!?"

[Satanic Bunny]

Heh... Noita samanlaisia listojahan on ympäriinsä nettiä jos jaksaa vaan kaivella. Ihan hyviä oli monet, tosin loppua kohden alko käymään vähän tylsäks.

[Crowmire]

jep, hauskojahan nämä.

Tästä tuli mieleen, kun hiljattain olin juonut liikaa ja oksentelin meidän takapihalla mahanesteitä kymmenisen minuuttia pihakasvin päälle, jonka jälkeen totesin vain että "vomit attack" johon kaveri vastasi "Jep, tyyppi on nurgle. Kunnon Stream of corruption"

siinä vaiheessa mietti, että josko vähentäisi pelailua..

lisättäköön vielä woodelf pelaajien mieliksi, että seuraavana päivänä kyseisen kasvin lehdet oli muuttunut ruskeiksi, mutta voi nykyään hyvin..

[Luna]

10. The Sunlight hurts your eyes.
12. You practice dice rolling on a regular basis, feeling that there must be some sort of technique to it.
You yelled out tactics to Mel Gibson throughout the screening of "Braveheart".
66. When you carry around a couple of dice in your back pocket for those undecided times (ei takataskussa mutta lompakossa, close enough )
70. When you wish you could be in the warhammer world
80. You never accept a drinking contest with a short bearded man.
113. White Dwarf stacks are higher than Playboy stacks in your room.
130. You start grumbling at King Arthur movies when they don't show proper respect for the Lady of the Lake.


Noi pitää paikkaansa minun kohdallani vaikken ole pelannut warhammeria puoleenvuoteen...

[Warlord Sneek Sneek]

jep.... joo.... no wanhojahan osa oli mutta aina ne jaksaa uudestaan lukea...Itsessänikin näkyy joitain piirteitä,mutta warhammeria ei loe pelannut koskaan liikaa...

[DeadBeat]

91. When you and your friends walk around in square formations so you can recieve a rank bonus
Tämä pisti kyllä hymyilyttämään Olisi kyllä hauskan näköistä jos olisi vaikka 10 tyypin porukka joka kulkee 2 rivissä jossa molemmissa on 5 tyyppiä. Joku kysyy: Relatkaa nyt vähän, armeija meni jo.
"Mitä hittoo?" meillä on 1 rank bonus ja overhelm suhun verrattuna. Voitto!

[Pancake]

12. You practice dice rolling on a regular basis, feeling that there must be some sort of technique to it.
40. You try to locate your town on the old world map.
9. You would rather paint up some minis than go out with a Girl.
69. When static grass begins to look better than real life grass
113. White Dwarf stacks are higher than Playboy stacks in your room
70. When you wish you could be in the warhammer world

Nämä ainakin osittain totta minun kohdallani, hauskoja olivat kaikki.