Dragoonlance Saga (valmis!!! 30.4.!!!)

[hullukoira]

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Here is the first installment to the famed Dragoonlance Saga. It tells of a ragtag bunch of adventurers set out for an adventure. I'll tell no more so as not to let out any spoilers!

NOTE: I shall continue the story in this here topic. So, no more multitudeous topics for the same tale! Whenever I add text, I'll notify you by updating the topics name...


Dragoonlance saga, part one

The dragoons of autumn's night



Glinty, an ancient mountain dwarf, was traipsing along a road.

The road in question wound it's lazy way through long succession of grassy hills in the heart of northern Lustria. This far north, there were no rainforests, just plains with gigantic, furry mammals grazing them. And here and there, a mighty copse of gargantuan redwoods.

Right ahead of Glinty, there was one such forest. Even though he still had far to go, already he could see the majestic evergreens swaying in the autumn breeze. Here and there, a curl of smoke arose. There were abodes, Glinty knew, human abodes, built and carved into the trunks of the gigantic trees. A whole village of houses, making up the small town called Heavin.

In time, the dwarf reached first of the mighty trees. He had passed just few trunks, when suddenly...

'BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!'

A terrible cry, as a figure launched itself at the dwarf from behind a tree!

Without even flinching, the dwarf swung his travelling bludgeon at the creature. The stranger fell with a cry of outrage.

'AWWW!!!' the smitten figure cried, rubbing it's head. 'What you do that for, Glinty! Ach! My head! There will be a lump the size of Caramours bicep in there come tomorrow!'

'Hazelhoff?' enquired the dwarf, with a hint of amusement in his voice. 'My, it is you!'

'Of course it is me!' cried the diminutive figure as it rose up to shaky feet. 'Who did you think it was? I mean it's not as if there's that many halflings in Lustria. Come to think of it, I never seen another halfling in here. It may well be I'm the only one brave enough to face the dangers of this new continent...'

'I took you for a bandit,' grunted Glinty, interrupting the talkative halfling in mid sentence. The halfling did not seem to mind. She was quite used to it. 'Had I knew it was you, Hazelhoff, I would have smitten harder!!!'

'Glinty!' whined the female halfling as she went to pick up her travelling gear from behind the tree. 'Why you go and say a nasty thing like that? You do not much like women, do you?'

'It's not women I do not like!' grunted the dwarf, smoothing his luxurious beard. 'It's thieflings I cannot stand!'

'Thieflings?' Hazelhoff looked around her, perplexed. 'What thieflings?'

'What indeed!' burst out the dwarf, hands akimbo. 'Last time we met, you walked away with my purse! But mark you, lass, this time I shall make sure you... Hey, where did my purse go? Oi! Get back here you little wench of a thief!'

'Catch me if you can, old timer!' cried the halfling as she sped along the road towards Heavin. 'Besides, we had better hurry in any case! The others went ahead ages ago!'

'Others?' shouted Glinty, trying to keep up but failing. He was too old for this. 'Which of the others? Did everybody make it? Hey! Wait up and answer me!!!'

But the halfling was already out of earshot.

*********************************************

Titta Nowayman sighed.

With aching joints Titta, a young, pretty waitress, bent to wipe clean a heavy wooden table for the evening's customers. Her blouse opened readily to offer the world an impressive amount of well developed cleavage. Over at the bar, old Otto, the inkeep, gasped and dropped an earthenware pint. It shattered with a loud crash.

Around Titta, the Inn of the Lost Home was silent and empty. Apart from occasional crash of earthenware, that is. And from the kitchen drifted also the sound of pots, clinking. The inn's cook, a hill dwarfess named Cinder, had seemingly arrived.

Titta sighed agian, and threw the dirty rug to a battered pail. She was happy that she had a job, a rare priviledge these days. But the work was so wearying. The groping hands, the heavy pints, the late hours. Oh, how she wished that one day the man of his daydreams would step through the inn's door and whisk Titta away to a life of adventure and romance. A handsome, carefree, yet gentle man... -But what use was to dream of such, Titta thought wryly. Fo it was her destiny, no doubt, to end up as a wife to one of the imperial dragoons that had settled into the town some years earlier. They were pigs to a man, the dragoons, but what choise did she have?

Suddenly, there was a sound of multitudeous footsteps from outside the inn. There were people on the ladders! Customers, no doubt! The door opened, and Titta stood up straight to greet the early visitors. And goggled.

And goggle she well might! For in had come a man. And not any old man, but a handsome warrior of mighty build! Fair was his mien, golden his hair. Huge were his muscles and gigantic was his codpiece. Titta blushed deep crimson and fanned her pretty face in vapid manner. She was smitten! Yet, there was a strange feeling in her heart that she should know this man...

The stranger had not yet noticed Titta, for he had turned to hold the door open for others. And indeed, in short order, in stepped a wizard and a half elf. Titta gasped in wonderment.

That the second man was a wizard, there was no doubt. He had not a beard, nor a pointy hat, but
he made this up with a multitude of mystic talismans and whatnots that he had sewn in, and hanged from, his dark robe. And his skin was the coulour of brass, which was something of a dead giveaway. Not brass as in tan. Really brass. A gold wizard then, no doubt.

Although young, the mage was bent and frail. Without a look to the pretty wench, he shuffled his way to a table and sat down.

Behind the wizard there came the half elf. He had the sharp, haughty features of a high elf. Of his humanesque parentage told his flaming moustache and sideburns, and his wide girth. He also had a beer belly, a physical slight no elf would or could raise. Why? I dunno. Probably because elves do not drink beer, the fobs that they are...

Titta gasped again. For he knew this half elven man. 'Tenner!' she cried and threw herself to the man elf. Elf man. Damn. This is going to be awkward...

'Um, do I know you, lass?' Stammered the half elf, half man. Not that he disliked young women throwing themselves at her... especially lasses this well developed!

'Oh, it's me, Titta!'

'Titta!' crieth Tenner the halfsomething. 'My, but it IS you! Last I saw you you were a girl of ten. You have grown up!'

'And from the right places too!' cried the human with the big muscles as he took stock of the tavern wench. 'that pair of hooters is the biggest in the whole of Lustria! And trust me, I've been around to know!!!'

'Sir, you are too bold!' cried Titta, although she was well pleased by the praise. 'I do not even know thee!'

'You don't,' the man quizzed, grinning mishievously. 'It's me, Caramour, your childhood pal. And this here is Raisin, my brother!'

'Caramour!' Titta cried, smiling widely. Yes, now he regognized the merry eyes and the manly brow of her childhood sweetheart. 'Well well well. I thought you were gone for good, when you and Raisin left for the Empire. Why did you not write?'

'Because he cannot write even his own name,' offered the wizard from his chair, where he had been following the proceedings with a sneer. 'And now, if it is not too much trouble, get us ale and some of Otto's spiced tomatoes. Chop-chop, girl!'

'Yes, sir,' said Titta, curtseyed, and headed for the kitchens.

'Hey, Raisin, what you do that for?' Caramour asked, annoyed. 'Makin her run like a servin maid?'

'Because she IS a serving maid, Caramour.' the wizard replied cuastically. 'Now, go and get me some boiling water for my tea, brother.'

'Yes, Raisin,' said Carmaour, looking very much like an obedient dog. Not for the first time Tenner wondered what Raisson had done to make his big brother so afraid of him. Knowing Raisson, he would probably never know.

********************************************************

The door to the Inn opened.

This time, in skipped a spirited looking halfling girl, carrying a large staff and a motley collection of packs and pouches. She was fast followed by a very winded old dwarf. Reaching the room, the dward staggered to a nearest chair, from whence he looked around with rheumy eyes.

'Oh, hello there, lad,' the dwarf huffed as his eyes met Tenner's. 'I see you found the brothers. Good to see you all. But hold a moment before you start reminiscin, kids. I'm gonna get a drink first! My throat is parched!' And with that the dwarf dropped down from the chair and staggered towards the bar, where Otto was ready for him with a foamy mug of his best beer.

'I found the dwarf!' enthused hazelhoff as she skipped to Tenner and the brothers. 'Mission accomplished! I say, you finished with that ale, Caramour? Mind if I take a sip? The dwarf is not the only one parched!' And without waiting for a reply, the halfling jumped up to Raisson, reached over him for Caramour's pint, and drained it in one go. And then belched happily.

'hazel,' snapped Raisson of a sudden, his hand shooting out tho grab a hold of the halflings neck. 'Give that book back. Now.'

'All right, all right!' cried the halfling, trying to worm out of the wizards grasp. To no avail. The wizard, despite looking frail, had the grip of iron. 'I was just lending it, Raisin, to have something to read at the outhouse! Here!'

'Fool!' hissed Raisson, taking the proffered book and stuffing it to his worn pack. Tenner thought he saw the cover etchings moving on their own volition. For some reason, this disquieted the half elf. the etchings had not looked very friendly.

'Do you not know that trying to read a magic tome can be highly dangerous?' asked Raisson from the halfling. 'For when you try to read it, the book might well read you!'

'Really?' quizzed Hazelhoff, fascinated. Her mishievous eyes verily shone. 'That sounds exciting! How does it read a person, excatly? I mean people have no pages! Or does a person turn ito a book, while the book turns into something terrible with eyes!?!'

'It opens you from the middle!' hissed Raisson, drawing his sharp finger across the halflings abdomen. 'And if you are really unlucky, it cracks your spine!'

The halfing gasped, amazed. It did not occur to her to be terrified. Such was her simple, carefree nature. 'Really, Raisin?' she quizzed, her eyes eyeing greedily the wizards pack.

'Yes, really,' the wizard said, caustically. 'Now go and ask the landlord if he has any interesting foreign coins to show you.'

'Foreign coins!' cried Hazelhoff, the book instantly forgotten. 'Brilliant idea, Raisin!'

Hazelhoff traipsed toward the barkeep, and sat beside her old friend, Glinty the dwarf. The dwarf turned over and gave Raisson a distrustfull look. Glinty had liked Raisson well enough when the lad had been young. But now the boy verily reeked of magic. And there was nothing that dwarves distrusted as much as magic. Apart from elves, of course, but that went without saying.

All the others sighed out of relief. Hazelhoff was fun company in her own way. But only in small doses. You did not want her around for long. Now unless your pack and pouches vere VERY secure.

****************************************

'I say chaps, any chance of a beer?'

The companions looked up from their ales. They had not heard the door open. A splendid sight met their eyes. A knight, clad from head to toe in an ornate, silvery armour, with a mighty broadsword upon his back and a dark, broody moustache upon his upper lip.

'Sir Stormy blightblade!' cried Tenner, hoping up to greet his knightly friend. 'I thought you had missed us!'

'Easy on the sir, old chap,' answered Stromy, smiling broadly and shaking hands all round like a real pro. 'I'm not a knight anymore, as you well know. And it is against the bretonnian regulations to call beknighted man a sir.'

'Well, bretonnian regulations to heck, say I,' Tenner enthused. 'To us, you are, and always will be, a real knight. Now sit down and we'll get you some ale. Lo! the maid!'

And so it was. The cook had finally finished frying Otto's famous spiced tomatoes and Titta was now hurrying towards the table of the companions with a huge, steaming bowl on her hands. Stormy hopped up again, as was only correct with the arrival of a female gender.

'Stormy Blightblade, at your service, madam,' the ex-knight said, bowing low with a flourish. With keen interest, he then looked down at Titta's chest region. 'I say, old girl, are those a genuine article,' the ex-knight inquired, reaching out a hand. 'would you awfully mind if I had a go at them?'

'You are too bold!!!' cried titta, her pretty face darkening with anger. fast as a lighting, her hand shot out and SLAP! And before the benighted ex-knight could say a word more, Titta whirled around and headed back for the kitchens.

'I say, what was that all about?' stammered Stormy as he rubbed some life back to his struck cheek. 'All I wanted was to have a taste of those spiced tomatoes I have heard so much about from you all!

'And now none of us is goin to get a taste, Stormy,' muttered Caramour, dismayed. 'Thanks a lot.'

Of a sudden, there was a sort of keening noise from behind Tenner. He whirled around in his chair. The weird noise seemed to originate from Raisson. With a start, Tenner realised the mage was laughing.

'Well, sorry old chap,' harrumphed Stromy, taking a seat next to Caramour and patting the gigantic warrior upon the back. 'By the way, the wench has some muscle. That was a slap of iron and no mistake!'

'Hi Stormy!' shouted hazelhoff, skipping her way to the table. At the bar, Otto seemed relieved to got rid of her. 'Great to see you! Here's Glinty too! Did you see Raisin's new skin? He's a real wizard now! Golden wizard! Although his skin is Brass! I think they might have done some mistake at the tower of wizardry in Altdorf! If I was him, I would go back and complain! But then, golden skin might have been too expensive for him and his brother! Well, he should have come to me for that! I have always a full pouch! Even though I never work!'

'Hello there, Hazel. Glinty,' the ex-knight smiled. 'Good to see you both. By the by, my monetary matters are not as well as the halfling's, I'm afraid. Life without tithes is not one a knight can lead, it seems. I even had to sell my horse few days back to get along. The old nag was frightfully sorry to see me go. Which brings me to my point: Could any of you lend me a tenner so I could have some ale, by any chance. And those spiced tomatoes. They did look delicious!'

*******************************************************

'So, here we all are,' mused Tenner, taking a sip of his imported bretonnian ale, and glancing around the gathered company. It felt good, to have his old friends beside him again. Especially with a stomach full of Otto's famous spiced tomatoes. He had sorely missed them, his friends, that is, even Raisson. Well, he had missed the tomatoes too... But of the one he had missed most, there was no sign... 'Apart from Kitkat, it seems. I wonder what has kept her...'

'There is a war on,' sneered Raisson, his brassy eyes meeting Tenner's. It was clear the wizard knew exactly the reason why Tenner was missing Kitkat, Raisson's sister. Although a seasoned warrior, Tenner had to look away. Raisson had verily changed. 'You really think Kitkat would trade the chance for a good scrap for a village school reunion?'

'What you mean, Raisin?' enquired Caramour, baffled look filling his manly mien. 'A village school reunion? C'mon, Raisin, you know I never went to the village school. They said I was too thick for it, like muscle mass was something preventin learnin of, umm, stuff. And talkin of school, I don't think kitkat ever went to classes either...'

'It's just a manner of speech, Caramour,' sighed Raisson. 'And do not call me Raisin. How many times do I have to tell you? I cannot be called Raisin if I am to be the greatest dark wizard of all time!'

'What's that again?' Tenner interjected, giving Raisson a sharp look. 'Did you say a dark wizard?'

'Dark? I did not say dark. I said park wizard. didn't I, Caramour?'

'Well, umm...' stammered Caramour, whom had not been listening. He had been watching Titta, the inn's serving wench. Or rather, her assets. Which were abundant indeed.

'Park wizard?' quizzed Tenner, not convinced. 'What's that then? Never heard of a park wizard before. Hedge wizard, yes, park, no.'

'No?' hissed Raisson, sneering his best sneer. 'Funny, that. I thought you knew everything, Tennerennessa.'

The usage of his elven name made Tenner flinch involuntarily. But before he had a chance of a riposte, the door to the inn opened. And in came two mysterious figures.

The two strangers were clothed in deep grayish cloaks and robes. Hoods covered their heads, casting deep shadows over their faces. This, they must have thought, made them look inconspicious. In reality, the opposite was true. For every eye in the common room was instantly nailed to them. The inn fell into a suspicious silence.

As the stranges passed the table occupied by the companions, the first of them turned it's head to look at Tenner. In that instant, there was a gust of wind from the door, making the flames leap up in the inn's huge fireplace. For a split second, the stranger's face was lit up. Tenner gasped, alarmed.

For the strangers were dark elves!


To be continued!!!
*********************************************'

And there you have it, the very first part to the already famous Dragoonlance saga. What? Resemblances to a Dragonlance(tm) Saga? What Dragonlance(tm) Saga? Never heard of such a saga! And anyways, it sounds like a complete poppycock: I mean arming a dragon with a lance? Why? -That makes about as much sense as adding lasgun to a Baneblade! Pshah!

[hullukoira]

The door to the Inn of the Lost Home had just opened. And in had come two characters clothed in deep cloaks. As was told in the last episode. And Tenner had noticed, helped by a trick of light, that the newcomers were dark elves!!! And so we continue our story:



Tenner glanced at the others to see if they had noticed the sinister lineage of the two strangers. At the end of the table, Raisson nodded to him, his brassy eyes wary. Caramour was staring at the newcomers too. He, however, was more interested in their clearly feminine buttocks rather than their parentage. Of the others, Stormy the ex-knight was trying to gain the attention of the waitress Titta, while Hazelhoff the halfling was fighting over the possession of a pint of ale with Glinty the dwarf. Tenner looked back at the mage. Raisson just lifted a finger to his lips, advicing the half elf into a silence. Tenner nodded back and turned to see what the two dark elf women, for they very clearly were women, were up to.

The two hooded dark elves had reached the bar, where Otto, the innkeeper, was eyeing them with suspicion. The strangers' faces were hidden in the shadows of their hoods, so Otto had no way knowing they were of the dark elf kind. Had he known, he brobably would have tossed the pair out. Dark elves were neither loved nor tolerated, not even here, in northern Lustria, near their homeland.

'Ah, innkeep,' said one of the strangers in a feminine, lilting voice. 'Some wine, if you please, and some of these spiced tomatoes we have heard so much about. We will have them at that corner table, the one in the deep shadows.'

'You will, will you?' spat the innkeep. The strangers flinched. Otto took a pointed look at their soiled and patched apparell. 'And how are you going to pay for it, pray? We only take hard coin here.'

'We have no coin...' one of the dark elf women said.

'Figures!' grunted the innkeep.

'...but we have our lutes with us...'

To underline this, the two women pulled out worn, but well kept lutes. At this, Tenner glanced at Raisson. He had not known dark elves to be musical. The mage just shook his head, irritated.

'Ah, do not tell me,' the innkeep stated. 'You are offering to sing for your sustenance?'

'Well, not exactly.'

'Eh?'

'What we offer is this: You give us food and drink, and we will NOT sing.'

'Eh?'

'Oh, Coldsun, lets just show the human!'

The two dark elves turned to the room. In unison they started to strum their instruments. The common room fell instantly into a waiting silence. Good entertainment was rare in these troubled days. Or so it was said. Tenner was about to comment to Raisson that the lutes seemed to be a bit out of tune, when the pair started to sing.

'Oh, come, my ugly brat, sleep already.'
(the dark elves sung)
'Here, drink this concotion, it'll make you heady.'
'For...'
'Under the moon, and the cursed sun.'
'Your papa is riding upon a cold, cold one.'

The song had many instant effects upon the audience. Some of the villagers were fleeing through the door, others were frantically stuffing cheese into their ears. Hazel was sitting with her jaw open, a pint of ale spilled all over her apparell. Glinty was rubbing his breast with a pale mien. Stormy was trying to eat his fist. Caramour was coughing, having swallowed his beer the wrong way. And Raisson? Well, the mage was laughing so hard he was close to suffocating himself with mirth.

Tenner himself was also shaking and pale. His stomach felt sick, and his head, woozy. It was not because the dark elf minsters had been bad singers. No, they had been downright awful. No, more than that. Terribly appalling and more besides they had been. Tenner had not heard such discords and disharmony since Hazel had attempted to sing the Lament of Sigmar in duet with Glinty. (Both had been very drunk at the time). Mind you, compared to these two ladies, the halfling and the dwarf would have sounded like a Tilean hit troupee.

Otto had seemingly reached the same conclusion. With one shaking hand he was pouring wine to the dark elf ladies while the other was waving for Titta to come over. Soon, the strangers were ushered to their dark corner and in the common room, the usual bustle of the inn returned.

'What the heck was that about?' stammered Caramour, having succeeded in clearing his throat. 'It felt like some fell skaven magick. It went right through me, that horrible lament.'

'That was no magick,' grinned Raisson, excitement shining in his eyes. 'That was genuine dark elf music! I believe that is the way they sing in their warped realms! I have read about this, of course, but I never expected to experience it first hand! Truly the reports did not do their art justice.' And with that, the mage started to titter again.

'Dark elves!' cussed Glinty, hopping down from his chair and whipping out his bludgeon. 'Are you saying, lad, that those two are of the cursed kind?'

'Calm down, Glinty,' hissed Tenner, reaching out a hand to hold the dwarf. 'This is no place nor time for a fight!'

'But they are dark elves!' cried the dwarf, agitated. 'The arch enemy of dwarves! We hate them more than wood elves, if that is possible!'

'Aye, I know,' admitted Tenner. 'But let us not be too hasty to judge them. Not all of their kind is evil. These two have come far from their realm. It may be they are renegades, exiles, even...'

'Not all evil?' hissed Glinty. 'I do not believe what I'm hearing. You're half elf, lad, and half high elf at that! I would think your lineage would oblige you to hate their kind.'

'Tenner is right,' interjected Raisson. 'Not all of their kind is evil. Very much as not all of the high elf kind is good. For example, you have met Tenner's stepfather, the Sunseeker, have you not, Glinty?'

'Aye. What of it, mage?'

'Would you say he is a good elf?'

'That rotten sod of an elf?' Glint rumbled 'Good? Pshah! I would have killed him and his whole family had not Tenner prohibited it!'

Glinty looked up to the rafters for a spot of handy reminiscing. He well remembered the elven fortress town he had been dragged to by elves whom had thought him a spy. A spy! As if dwarves would stoop to such elfin methods! In that town he had met Tenner, then an unhappy youth unsure of his parentage. The two had become fast friends. It had been Tenner whom had machinated Glinty's release. He had pleaded for the dwarf to his stepfather, the Sunseeker. The wily geezer had readily agreed, on one condition: that Tenner would exile with the dwarf, never to return. Tenner had acquiesced, the burn for adventure strong in his veins. The elves had been happy to see him go, too, apart from the daughter of the Sunseeker, an elfgirl called Lantana. The pretty elven maid had been heartbroken. She had had a crush for Tenner, which had been reason enough for the Sunseeker to wish the half elf out of his city.

'So you get my point?' asked Raisson, interrupting the dwarf's reminiscence in a rude manner.

'I think every elf is an evil dastard,' said the dwarf with conviction. '-no matter whether he is of the wood elf, high elf or dark elf kind. But I get your point, mage. I did meet some genuinely good elves in Tenner's hometown, lady Lantana, for example, so I'll hold my judgement on these two wenches for now.'

'Good,' interjected Tenner. 'For we did not come here to fight evil, but to meet up with old friends. And upon that vein, Stormy, please tell us what has happened to you after you departed from our company three years past...'

'With pleasure, my friend,' nodded Stormy. 'But I say, that dreadful ditty of theirs made me realize I have to go to the little boy's room. While I'm gone, old chaps, do try and get me a plate of those spiced tomatoes. For I am truly famished.'

'Will do,' nodded the companions and watched the knightly figure leave the room. As the door opened, they could see that the autumn's evening had already darkened into a night.


To be continued...
**************************************************************

And there you have it, the second installment to the saga. And as yet, no action! But worry not, friends! In the next chapter the adventurers are jumped upon by dastardly dragoons and cold hearted lizardmen! -After which they go for a boat trip. Also, the future plot is revealed! Which, as many will guess, will mostly consist of finding the legendary Dragoonlance (not to mention the discus of the jackal) before the bad guys do! Oh, this is going to be one long mother of a story...

[IRiaD]

Ei kristuksen v.....

Repesin ja kunnolla. Aivan loistava tarina. En keksi tästä mitään mitä ei voisi kehua

'And from the right places too!' cried the human with the big muscles as he took stock of the tavern wench. 'that pair of hooters is the biggest in the whole of Lustria! And trust me, I've been around to know!!!'

lisää näitä

[hullukoira]

The stars did not shine very long through the doorway, however. They were suddenly blocked by the ugliest man the companions had ever seen. The obese, bald and scarred fighter was dressed in a blue cuirass and a soiled cloak.

'That's the local commander or the imperial dragoons,' whispered Titta helpfully to the companions. 'And there are his goons...'

And so they were. Brutes to a man, the dragoons were the sorriest lot of mercenaries the troupe had ever seen. Thusly, they were clearly evil, for it is well known that beauty is good, ugliness evil. At least in silly fantasy literature.

The leader of the bunch went to Otto, and after a brief conversation headed for the dark elves. 'All right, you scumm,' the man said to the pair. 'The game's up. Come easily so I'll not have to trounch the pair of you.'

The two dark elves looked for a way out. There was none. For despite their ugliness, the brutes were efficient soldiers, and had already surrounded the dark creatures. And so, with ten or so hanguns pointing at them, the dark elves shrugged and raised their hands in submission.

The companions looked over all this, some dismayed, most totally indifferent. The pair taken away were dark elves, after all. Not worth fighting over. And the future of the whole world would have been quite different had not one of the dragoons pinched Titta's shapely bottock on his way out.

'Owww!' cried, titta, enraged. 'You are too bold, sir!' and SLAP went her hand.

The brute in question went scarlet. He turned to the waitress with a snarl, and was about to hit her when he ralized he could not move his arm. Looking right, he found a meaty hand holding his arm. And the meaty hand was connected to the astonishingly muscular arm of Caramour.

'Leave the lass be,' rumbled Caramour, flexing his thick neck.

'Back off, beefstake,' answered a voice from Caramour's left. The warrior felt a cold nose of a hangun press agaist his lower back. 'Or you'll have another butthole.'

'Fire that gun and you'll spend the rest of your life as a frog,' hissed Raisson, pouncing up from his chair. A halo of power shimmered round his raised hand.

'Fire that spell and I'll shoot you, mage,' barked the leader of the dragoons, twirling around and pulling out a pair of pistols with a flair that belied his brutish outlook.

'Fire those pistols, and you'll lose an eye!' shouted Tenner, jumping upon the table and drawing his bow in one gracefull movement. Well, gracefull except for his bouncing beer belly...

Drop that bow or I'll shoot ya, you half breed sod!' yelled one nameless goon from across the room, drawing a bead to the half elf.

'Fire that gun, and you'll not have kids,' grunted Glinty the dwarf, appearing from behind the nameless goon, the placement of his truncheon making the goon's eyes water.

'Make that threat count,' said a brute from behind Glinty, 'And you'll not live to see your grandkids.'

'He doesn't have grandkids,' said the helpful voice of Hazel from behind the brute behind Glinty. 'And neither will you if you touch the dwarf!'

The common room fell into a silent tableau of straining muscles and twitching hands. It was all very exciting! Mind you, it does not work that well in written form.

'I have a spell ready,' hissed Raisson to Tenner. 'I'll just need a distraction to get it off!'

'I say,' said then a cultured voice from the doorway, breaking the Tilean standoff. 'What's all this about then?'

'Thank you, Stormy.' whispered Raisson as the dragoons all glanced to the door where the ex-knight was standing and looking flummoxed. And let fly a spell.

A silvery coin flew through the air in slow motion towards the leader of the dragoons. In midway, it flashed painfully bright and burst into a fiery ball. Being seasoned veterans, the dragoons flung themselves to the ground. As did the companions. The missile sailed over them, and hit the far wall of the inn. The dry wood caught fire in a fiery explosions of cinnamon flames.

'Fire!' chorused the regular customers, and started to scarper towards the exit. Many of the dragoons did likewise. Their leader took stock, realized he was outnumbered, and decided to split too, taking the rest of his men with him. In the hulabaloo, the soldiers totally forgot the two dark elves, whom were now covering near the bar with Titta.

'I say, what a jolly good whizbang!' enthused Stormy, giving Raisson a thumbs up. 'But I say, old chap, you seem to have put fire to the inn. Come, let us away, afore the exit is blocked by the conflagration. Ladies first!'

'That means me!' shouted Hazelhoff the halfling and sprinted towards the exit with pouches and packs bouncing all over the place. She did not get far however. In midstep she was tackled by Titta.

'No!' the waitress cried as she hold the struggling halfling. 'They'll be waiting for you outside with their guns.'

'She is right!' Tenner cried over the roar of the fire. 'But is there another way out?'

'In the kitchen!' shouted Titta.

The company fled to the kitchen, pulling the startled dark elves with them. There, they discovered a hefty grocery elevator.

'Caramour, Stormy, to the rope!' shouted Tenner. 'Others, into the elevator!'

It was a heavy load for the two valiant youths. Caramour's muscles bulged and groaned with the stress of the company. Had Stormy not been with him, he doubted he could have done the deed. But with the ex-knight, they managed to keep to the rope, lowering the elevator carefully to the ground some thirty feet below them.

The kitchen was blisteringly hot and full of smoke as the two finally felt the rope go loose. The others were down! Nodding to each other, the pair jumped to the rope and started sliding toward the ground.

By then, the tavern was already consumed by the inferno. And as the company fled to the dark night, the Inn of the Lost Home crumbled, crashing down to the ground in a rain of burnng timber.

****************************************

The adventurers fled out of Heavin. And did not stop running until their way was suddenly blocked by a lake. Then they halted, stooped to the sand, and tried to gather what wits they had left. Which was not that many to begin with.

'The Inn of the lost home, burnt to ground,' huffed Tenner, wiping sweat from his brow. He was not accustomed to running. 'Well done, Raisson.'

'We would have all been dragged to a prison had I done nothing,' sneered the mage from the shore, where he was checking an old fishing boat with his brother.

'Well, at least that way Otto would still have his tavern intact,' grunted Tenner, staring daggers to the mage.

'Hold it, lad,' rumbled Glinty the dwarf. 'The mage did better than you realize.'

'What do you mean?'

'The inn is gone. The dragoons did not see us come out. They will assume we were burned with the tavern. It'll take time for them to realize their error. Time enough for us to be away.'

'Granted,' nodded Tenner. 'Although we would not have to be away had not Caramour assaulted that brute in the first place.'

'Oh, shut it, lad,' the dwarf barked. 'What's done, is done. Now, it's time for decisions. First, what we do with those two,' here the dwarf nodded to the dark elves, 'and secondly, where will we stay the night. There's rain coming, I can feel it in my bones, so we better be swift about it.'

Caramour and Raisson had been conversing in low tones at the boat. Now, Caramour stepped forth.

'We have a place for us,' the gigantic warrior offered. 'We know this lake, see. I used to come here to fish with Raisin when we were kids. If we cross the lake, we can make our way to sigmar's peak, where there is a hidden cave roomy enough for us.'

'Sounds good enough,' Tenner agreed. 'I will feel safer with a lake between me and Heavin. Now, you two, will you come with us or shall we part ways here?'

The two dark wlves went into a huddle. After a fiery argument, the shorter of the two stepped forward and pulled off her hood. The company sighed in wonder.

And sigh they well might, for the maiden was astonishingly beautifull. She had a narrow, pale face of an elf. Her hair was violet, with a golden tint to it. Her lips were wide and full, her eyes large and alluring. Even Glinty, hater of elves, was moved by the sight. This dark elf reminded him of fair Lantana...

'We will come with you, for now,' the dark elf said, smiling. 'for if I am not mistaken, you are adventurers, mercenaries that can be hired..?'

'Well, yes, I suppose you could call us mercenaries,' admitted Tenner, glancing at the others. 'We have fought for coin many enough times. However, I must tell you we have our standards. We will not fight for fell cause.'

'Will you hear our cause, then, to determine wether you will fight with us?' the dark elf lady asked.

'We will,' decided Tenner. 'First, we will get to this cave the brothers talked of. There, we shall talk. Now, all to the boat!'

'I say, old chap,' interjected Stormy at this. 'I do not mean to be a bother, but we seem to have dragged the waitress with us. Surely, she is not coming along for the boat trip?'

Tenner glanced around, surprised. 'Titta!' he cried, spying the lass somewhat apart from the others. 'What on earth are you doing here?'

'I... I just came along with you,' Titta stammered. 'I did not really think about it...'

'Well, you better go back before they miss you,' Tenner offered, looking kindly to the young woman. 'I'm sorry we lost you your job, but...'

'No,' Titta suddenly said, a hint of steel in her voice. She stepped forwards to the boat. 'I'm not going back. I'll come with you.'

'What!' exclaimed Tenner. 'You can't do that!'

'Why not? I don't want to go back there. There's nothing for me in Heavin. And besides, I have always wanted to be an adventurer! This is my chance! And I shall take it!'

'Oh no you shant,' disagreed Tenner. 'We cannot babysit a girl, especially not now!'

'Babysit!' cried Titta, outraged. 'I'm not a child! I'll take care of myself! Caramour, help me out here!'

'Hah!' mirthed Raisson at this.

'Oh, come, Tenner,' said Caramour, softened by the lost poppy -look the waitress was giving him. 'Let's let her come along. I'll look after her, teach her the basics. Plus, she is a brilliant cook, aren't you, Titta?'

'I am?' Titta quizzed. 'Oh, yes! I am!'

'See?' Caramour smiled. 'No more of your crappy cookings, Tenner!'

'And we can always use her for a camp whore,' muttered Raisson with a sneer. He did not like the moony looks the waitress was sharing with Caramour. Not one bit.

Tenner was about to give further arguments, when there suddenly rose a glamour form further along the beach. The sounds were beastly hoots and clicks. Tenner paled. For he well knew what those sounds boded.

'Lizards!' Tenner cried, alarmed. 'Quck, to the boat! All of you! Caramour, push us out! Do it now!'


To be continued...
**********************************************'******

And that's it for now. I'm sorry I did not get any further, as my arms got a bit weary with all this writing and needed a rest. I'm not as young as I once was, you see...

[hullukoira]

The companions were scarcely ten metres to the lake when the lizards reached the pebbly beach.

Tenner scanned the cold blooded creatures with his elven eyes. In the meagre light offered by half moon, he saw sinuous, small shapes, hardly bigger than snotlings, gather on the shore. The skins of the lizardmen glinted dark blue in the night. Luckily for the companions, they seemed lightly armed, carrying only blowpipes and javelins. However, the lizards made up for this weakness by their numbers. There were at least twenty of the beastly creatures out there, with more appearing upon the coastline further along the shore.

With hoots and clicks the lizards tried to gain the attention of the boat, no doubt appealing to the company to get back to shore. Failing this, they decided on more direct approach.

'Take cover!' shouted Tenner, 'Incoming!'

The adventurers flung themselves into a pile at the bottom of the boat. All round, the water hissed and plopped as the shower of projectiles hit the locale. The sturdy old boat took hits too. Luckily, the adventurers were not blooded.

'I say, this is quite a bother,' harrumphed Stormy from the top of the pile, where he was protecting the others with his armoured bulk. 'Caramour, do hand me that paddle and I shall endeavour to propel us out of their reach.'

Stormy took the tiller seat and started to row with even, powerful strokes. He was instantly hit with scores of darts and javelins. To no avail. For the ex-knight was attired in his full armour and helmet. Vainly the lizard's projectiles pattered against this steely aegis. Mind you, Stormy was later quite miffed about the scratches the ammunition left at his hereditary cuirass. For you see, it is not seemly for a knight to have more scratches and bumbs upon the backside of his armour than upon the breastplate, giving, as it does, an impression that the said knight has been spending rather a lot of time with his back to the enemy, ie, running away. But I digress.

As the boat gradually got out of range of the skinks (for skinks they were) Tenner put the others to work so as to get to the far shore as soon as possible. The two dark elves were set to the prow. Their elven eyes would see anything hazardous an keep their vessel out of harms way. Tenner and Caramour both grabbed paddles and put them to good use. Raisson stood near a broken mast, shivering, his robes wound tightly around his lithe form. As for Titta and Hazelhoff, they were kept busy caring for Glinty, whom had taken seasick almost the moment he had stepped on board. The old dwarf was being noisily sick, for the umpteenth time, much to Hazel's immense amusement.

'Glinty, this is a lake!' the halfling girl cried, tittering uncontrollably. 'You cannot get seasick on a lake! And a placid lake at that! Look, Glinty, there isn't even any waves!'

'Oh, go away, you rattlebrained halfling,' groaned Glinty from his perch at the rail, his long grey beard trailing in water. 'Grugni, but I feel terrible! I must be dying! Quick, Hazel, if you have any paper, pass it over; I want to write my will whilst I still have some time left!'

'Will!' shrilled the halfling, toppling over to the bottom of the boat from pure mirth. 'A will! Glinty, what have you to pass on? You have naught but that truncheon of yours and two coppers on your pocket! A mighty heritage, that! Yes, I see why you should make a will, for otherwise we would be fighting like a pack of skaven over those coins!'

'Why, you!' started the dwarf, suddenly looking much more spirited as he turned to the halfling. His gaze, however was trapped by something behind the boat. Something moving. The dwarf squinted. And then cursed heartily.

'By Grugni, that is all we need!' the dwarf cussed, passing Tenner on his way to the stern.

'What's up, Glinty?' quizzed Tenner, his gaze fixed to the further shore, where the Sigmar's Peak could already be seen above the woods.

'We have company,' Glinty answered, nodding to the other direction.

Tenner looked back. And swore in turn. For the lizards had taken to water, and were now swimming after the boat, and gaining to boot. These, Tenner thought, must be skinks then. He had heard they were of the kind that could swim, unlike their bigger cousins. Tenner was about to reach for his bow, when the meaty hand of the dwarf stopped him.

'Worry not, lad,' Glinty rumbled, his eyes gleaming, 'me and Hazel will take care of them. Hazel, take your staff and follow! Stormy, move forwards, we need the stern seat!'

The lizards were by then almost upon the company, their red eyes gleaming evilly in the night. The quickest of them were just about to launch themselves to the boat, when they were walloped on the head with the double strikes of Glinty and Hazel. The skinks keeled over, unconsious, and were swept away by the current.

Glinty and Hazel kept at it, keeping the boat free of the skinks. The dwarf worked with grim efficiency, his truncheon cracking skulls with deadly precision. The halfling took things more lightly. She was enjoying herself immensely as she walloped around with her two metre staff. Whether she actually hit anything was anybody's guess. She did, however, splash around so much that most of the companions got throughoutly wet. Tenner was about to order her to stop mocking about, but thought better of it. For the skinks seemed to be peeling away. And indeed, when he next glanced back, the tiny lizards gave up the chase and started back for the shore. Seeing this, Hazelhoff punched the night air, and let out a mighy whoop of victory.

***************************************************************

'Ah, the wood is still there as it used to be,' Raisson intoned. 'Which means the hunters still come here. Caramour, get them piled up. I'll light them for us.'

The rest of the lake journey had been easy, if a bit wearying. The boat had reached the far shore without any mishaps. Then had followed a wet jaunt through one of the most thickest woodlands Tenner had ever encountered. In midst of this, the rain, predicted earlier by Glinty, had opened up. By the time the company had reached the hidden cave at the rear of Sigmars peak, everyone had been throughtouly soaked. Luckily for the companions, there had been a pile of firewood, secreted at the rear of the cave and soon the adventures were gathered around a merry fire.

'All right,' said Tenner, as the warmth had returned to his bones. 'We are here at last. Now, anybody bring any food with us?'

'Not me,' chorused the company as one, exchanging dismayed looks. The journey had made them all mightily hungry.

'Oh well, can't be helped,' Tenner shrugged. 'We have made do without sustenance before now. However, Hazel, could you check your pouches..? Somebody at the inn might have dropped something in them by accident.'

Hazel did as ordered. In short order she let out a shriek of pleasure, and pulled out a ham, two rolls of beef sausage, a sealed pot full of mushrooms and a worried gabbage.

'Wow!' the halfling cried, grinning from pointy ear to pointy ear as she eyed her loot. 'I had no idea I had those on me. Boy, they must have dropped onto my pouches in the general shehanigans at the inn.'

'Dropped,' snorted Glinty, reaching for a ham. 'Right.'

'Well, it was quite a chaos back there, old chap,' offered Stormy placatingly as he bit into a sausage. 'Pity you did not get anything to drink.'

'Well, ahem,' started Glinty, looking shifty, and pulling from his leather tunic a dusty bottle. 'I might be able to help you there. You see, I saw this bottle at the kitchen, when we were getting out, and, well, I thought, it's Firehammer's finest liquor, and well, the inn was about to burn down, so I just grabbed it, just to keep it safe...'

'Oh, Glinty,' laughed Caramour, 'you are getting just as bad as the halfling! Soon we will have to watch our pouches around you too!'

'Quite,' interjected Raisson, not sharing in the general merryment Caramour's comment had revoked. 'And now, if you are done with wittisism, brother, fetch me some rainwater. I need my herbal tea.'

'Yes, Raisin,' answered Caramour, took the proffered tin can from Raisson, and disappeared out into the heavy rain. Titta watched all this with displeased mien. Seeing her look, Raisson could not but leer. One nill for Raisson!


*******************************************************

The company was feeling very warm and mellow. No wonder: it really had been Firehammer's finest, that liquor. They lounged around the dying fire, all worries forgotten. Glinty had already nodded off. Tenner wanted to do the same, but decided that this was the best time to hear the story of the two dark elves. So, he stood up, woke the dwarf and put some fresh wood to the fire. Others perked up immediately. They knew Tenner, and knew something was up.

'Okay, you two,' Tenner said to the two dark elf women. 'Now's the time for your pitch.'

The dark elves looked at the companions, one by one. Then they nodded.

'Very well, said the pretty one. 'The time is as good as any. I am called Coldsun, and my companion here is called Sliverwind.'

At this, the taller dark elf stood and pulled off her hood. The companoions did not sigh in wonder. And no wonder, for this one was quite plain. Her face was skinny and scarred, her hair closely cut. Indeed, she could have easily passed for a man, but for her very feminine bosom and hips! Sliverwind, clearly reading the faces around her, just sneered as she boved to the company. As she sat down, the companions noticed she took hold of Coldsun's hand in a very affectionate fashion. Tenner glanced at Raisson at this. The mage just shrugged. He could not care less if the two dark elves loved each other.

'And now, the pitch, as you so succintly put it,' continued Coldsun, giving Sliverwind's hand a kiss. At the other side of the fire, Caramour, surprised, goggled and coughed a mouthfull of liquor into the fire. The fire bloomed, almost scorching Glinty's beard.

'The pitch,' said Coldsun, ignoring Caramour's profuse apologies and Glinty's curses, 'is as follows: we were send south to investigate a rumour. A rumour that told the local slann chieftain is planning a strategem that could wipe the lesser races out of the whole Lustria.

'To great risks to our lifes, we managed to capture the Slann's pet priest. Under torture, it revealed a horrifying plan. The Slann was intenting to call up an Old One, an ancient god. With the god's help, it intented then to drive all lesser beings out of the Lustrian continents.'

'He could do that?' quizzed Tenner. 'The god, I mean...'

'Oh yes!' interjected Raisson at this. 'I have read of these Old Ones. They are said to have created all the races and stuff like that. Very powerfull they were. Or so they say, anyway. Clensing Lustria would be easy peasy for them.'

'Oh...'

'You said the Slann intents to drive all lesser races from Lustria,' continued Raisson, turning to the dark elves. 'What races would these be, excatly?'

'Firstly skaven,' answered Coldsun. 'then us dark elves. Then chaos scumm, and high elves.'

'And what of us humans?' quizzed Stormy.

'The priest said the Slann had made a pact with humans. They would help it to uncover some anciet artefacts to power the portal of summoning, and it would let humans in peace. It seems, after tonight's experiences, that the humans took the offer...'

'Aye,' muttered Tenner. 'Any talk of dwarves?'

'Don't be silly, lad,' interjected Glinty at this. 'There's no dwarves in Lustria. Apart from a few adventurers like me...'

'So, muttered Tenner. 'Skaven and dark elves killed and driven out... and chaos too. And high elves, of course...'

'A dastardly plan, you'll agree,' stated Coldsun, pacing animatedly back and forth. 'After all, you are of high elf breed. So, the question is, will you join us in fighting this plan, and help us recover these magical artefacts so we may thwart this Slann mage?'

Tenner glanced at the others, one at a time. There were silent nods and winks, that Tenner could read with ease. At the end, Tenner grinned, jumped up, and shouted:

'Get them!!!'

The whole company acted as one. They rushed the dark elves, and before the two women knew what was what, they were bound from head to toe with stout rope.

Satisfied that all was in order, Tenner sat back and took a proffered bottle from Glinty.

'So, lad, you think this Slann feller will come through?' quizzed Glinty silently as he sat next to his old friend.

'I hope so!' Tenner said. 'I hate the friggin skaven and abhor the dark elves. Good riddance, I say!'

'What of your kin?'

'They have their ships. They'll get away if things turn ugly...'

'Fair enough. You think we'll get any bounty from these two?'

'Hopefully enough to make peace and rebuild the Inn,' Answered Tenner. The others nodded at this. Yes. The inn should be rebuild. For if there had ever been a home for the adventurers, it had been the Inn of the Lost Home.

The End

*****************************************

Teehee! Quite a trick ending there! Do remember to read the Test of the Brothers Majorleague, to find out what happened to the brothers!