The Test of the Brothers Majorleague

[hullukoira]

Welcome to the Test of the Brothers Majorleague! The tale tells of brothers Raisson (a mage) and Caramour (an oaf) which you know from the Dragoonlance saga. Only now, the brothers have grown old and live their last days in Heavin...



The Test of the Brothers Majorleague


Raisson Majorleague walked along the main road out of Heavin, the well known Lustrian redwood village. The wizened old mage was bent, his brass tinted face lined with, well, lines, of age. His limbs were aching and his head felt sore. He had rather had stayed home, in a warm bed, pampered by Hazelhoff the halfling, but such was the life of a mage; You wanted herbs, you had to go get them.

Still, there were plus sides to the ordeal. The air was warm and moist, and the exercise kept the ancient mage healthy.

Raisson had just started to hum the Hymn of Sigmar, favourite song of Hazelhoff, when he heard the most puzzling sound. It was like snorting of a wild boar.

A wild boar! With a speed that belied his frail form, Raisson whipped to the left and readied a minor spell. But there was no sign of boar there. Only an old, derelict house, half covered in vines and brambles. But what was that, upon yonder window. Raisson groaned. Surely it was not Caramour, his dim oaf of a brother.

'Pssssssssssssssst! Psssssssssssssssssssst!' went Caramour urgently, lening out of an open window, his slightly graying head scanning the road in a conspiratory manner. 'Raisin! Quick, come here! I need your help!'

'Caramour,' stated Raisson dryly as he stepped slowly forth. 'How many times do I have to tell you? It is not Raisin, it's Raisson.'

'Yeah, sorry, Raisson,' mumbled Caramour, all the while watching the road.

'Quite. Now, what is the problem this time, Caramour. Be quick. There are herbs in the forest that bloom only today.'

'Well,' started Caramour, pushing his meaty hands out the window so he could lean against the sill. 'You know Titta threw me out coupla months before?'

'It was not something one could miss,' mirthed Raisson. 'the halfling is still telling the story around. It was very unlucky for you that the little critter happened to be visiting you at the time. She told of the happenstance to simply everybody whom would listen.'

'Yes, yes,' waved Caramour, whilst turning to an ugly shade of pink. The cursed halfling. 'Anyway, that is why I moved here, our childhood home.'

Raisson stepped back, surprised. He scanned the locale. 'Why, it IS our old house!' he finally exclaimed. 'I did not realize! I must be getting old. But, brother, you are, as always, babbling. Get to the point. Herbs are waiting.'

'Sorry, Raisin, I mean Raisson. But this has to do with Titta. You see, after she threw me out, I went into a two month eating binge. I could not help myself! And just look at me now!'

Caramour stepped away from the open window. Interested despite himself, Raisson stepped up and took a look at his brother. And whistled.

'My, my, you HAVE grown, brother,' the mage stated, his voice tinged with mirth. 'You are lucky the floor is solid earth! But what do you want me to do about all this? Go get you some InstaSlim (may contain traces of warpstone) from Seaport?'

'Come on, Raisin,' whined Caramour. 'It's not funny!'

'It is to me! But seriously, brother, what do you want me to do? Because I cannot magic you smaller. I'm a gold mage. We have no such spells in our repertoire...'

'No?'

'No. Sorry.'

'Oh.'

'So, Caramour, as I see it, it seems you have to do it the old way. Train yourself fit. Again. Mind you, this time I cannot get you a place at gladiator arena in Seaport. Not after what happened the last time!'

'I know,' sighed Caramour, returning to the window. 'But therein still lies one problem.'

'And that is..?'

'The fact that I cannot get out of the house.'

'Why not?' quizzed Raisson, perplexed. But suddenly he grinned. 'Hold on, you are not indicating that you got so fat, you cannot fit through the doorway???'

'I'm afraid that's the dilemma...' sighed Caramour in a subdued manner, his head a'hang.

'And what can I do?' Raisson asked, after he had tittered himself giddy. 'Only thing to come to mind is I fling a fireball at one end of the house so as to bring down a wall...'

'No! Don't do that! I have to live here, remember!'

'What then?'

'Well, Raisin, I gave the problem a lot of thought when I noticed it this morning. You see, I have a boy to bring me food daily, only yesterday he did not show. So I decided to get down to Heavin, but then realized I...'

'Yes, yes! Get to the point, please!'

'Well, I ended up with watching the road for a suitable passersby. Such that would not gossip, you know. The plan was to get that passersby to go down to the village smithy and bring me a saw. With that, I could saw my way out of here!'

'Well, Caramour, I have to congratulate you; that is the first usable plan you have come up with during your entire life. However, there is a one hickup in it. Can you spot it, dear brother?'

'Ummm... No?'

'The hickup is the assumption that I would go back to the village and then return, dragging a heavy carpentry equipment with me all the way.'

'Please?'

'You ask this of me? In my age? In my failing health?'

'Pretty please?'

Raisson dithered, looking this way and that, trying to think a way out. But still. Caramour was his only brother, and despite their differences, Raisson was very fond of the big oaf. 'Oh, all right,' the mage finally sighed. 'I'll do it. But brother, the ways you test me... You test me so sorely.'

And with that the old mage turned and headed back to Heavin. Luckily for him, the way was downhill. Raisson did not like to think of the way back, which would be uphill all the friggin way...

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Caramour had almost lost faith in his brother, when he finally saw the red robed figure climb up from the bend in the road. Leaning out the window as far as he could, Caramour waved. But his wave froze in mid gesture. For after the mage there traipsed another figure, carrying a massive handsaw. A little, furtive figure, grinning from ear to ear.

'Oh, no!' groaned Caramour, covering his face with his meaty hands. 'He brought the halfling with him! Now the whole village will hear of this!'


The End!

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And there you have it: the Test of the Brothers Majorleague! As exciting tale of bravery and whatnot as you could hope! And then some!
Now, If you are nice, I might tell you what exactly happened at the Gladiator arena at Seaport. Well, all right, I can tell you this much: They are still repairing the damage done by a meteor Raisson summoned up! Talk about overkill...