Where's the gahvey??? (40K high drama!!!)

[hullukoira]

Here's a story about gahvey addiction, and what it can do to guardsmen. It is called:



Where's the gahvey?


Senior guardsman Hart hummed as he poured fresh bottled water into a gahvey machine, and istalled a new filterer. The grayed veteran was squatting a fifty metre overlook tower with junior guardsman Falken. There was no elevator, as such equipment would not keep here in the equatorial district, and the climb had made Hart really thirsty. Well, that would soon be mended. Without looking, Hart reached for the gahvey pack in the upper shelf. But his fingers met only air. Hart looked up. The shelf was empty. So were the other shelves, and the small sidetable. Where was the gahvey?

'Falken?' Hart said, turning to his fellow guardsman. Young Falken was over at the windows, sweeping the misty valleys with his binoculars. His blond crewcut was as perfect as always, and his khaki fatigues spotless.

'Yeah?' Answered Falken, without bothering to turn.

'Where's the gahvey?' quizzed Hart. 'Did you get it? And if so, where the frak is it?'

'Oh, yeah, Hart, I meant to tell: I had no time to get any. Sorry.'

Hart stared at Falken. The young trooper was silhouetted against the rising sun, looking like a figure from some friggin recruit poster. Hart bit his lip, and, pulling up a rickety field chair, sat down.

Hart could feel a headache coming. This was one of those days, all right. The air was humid, yet dried a man's throat in minutes. The climb up had not helped. And the glare of the sun would only make it worse. Hart shook his head and massaged his weary eyes. The gahvey would have helped. It would have kept the headache at bay. But there was none to be had now.

'Falken?' Hart started with a weary voice, taking a sip from a water bottle.

'Yeah?'

'I did ask you last night. I did ask; Falken, Do You Have Time To Get The Gahvey, Cause If You Don't, Give Me The Creds, And I Get It On My Way Home. And you said, and I quote; Do Not Worry Hart, I Have To Go Shop With Missus, So I Get A Pack Of The Old Blend For Us. You remember any of this?'

'Yeah, I remember.'

'And yet you did not have time after all?'

'No. Sorry. But you know how it is: I have kids, you have kids. It's a busy life we have...'

'And yet I have never failed to buy a pack when it is my turn to get one.'

'Look, Hart, I had a lot on my mind last night, all right? I just forgot the damned gahvey, all right?

'Aha!' cried Hart, pointing a finger.

'Aha what?

'You just said you forgot. And just minute ago you said you had no time. Now, you cannot have both forgotten and not had time to buy us a pack of gahvey. So which is it? Did you forget or did you have no time?'

'For crying out loud, Hart, what does it matter?!?'

'It matters to me. So did you...'

'I forgot. All right? Forgot, plain and simple. You happy?'

'No, I'm not happy. We have no gahvey, now have we?'

'I'm sure we can hang on for a day, Hart. It's just gahvey, you know.'

'Talk for yourself...'

'Look, Hart, if it is so big a thing, let me pull some creds for you, right now, right here! You can get us some of the better blend tonight, and we're even, what you say, buddy?'

'Don't you try sweet talk out of this! This isn't the first time you've forgotten the gahvey on your turn! You just dont care, do you?'

'Care about what? About the gahvey?'

'No! About me! You know I cannot deal without gahvey! You know it damned well. And yet you just slip up on it purely out of laziness. Or it might be worse: Maybe you forget on purpose, so as to torment poor old Loony Hart.'

'Hart, please...'

'Yeah! Loony Hart! I've heard how you talk about me when you think I'm not around. You would like to get rid of me, wouldn't you, Falken? Get some fresh blood up the tower, maybe one of the girls even. And what better way to do it than to drive old Hart over the edge so he is put to a nutter job janitoring some dirty motor pool. But let me tell you something, sunshine! It's not Hart that is going off the tower. It's Falken!'

Hart rose and stormed the younger guardsman. The hapless trooper was slammed against a plexwall with a force that made the plexiglass windows shudder and groan. Then Hart was on him. Falken did his best to keep the older man at bay, but there was no placating him. Hart was pissed, and now he was determined to let it all out on Falken. It might have gone bad, for both of them, had not a third person suddenly intervened.

'ATTENTION!'

The guardsmen halted their struggle, surprised. They looked up. And sprung into attention. 'Sir!' they chorused. It was captain Trevian, no doubt making one of his inspection tours!

'Well now,' said captain Trevian, taking out a notebook and a pen. 'Dereliction of duty. Dereliction of the uniform code. Dereliction of the code of conduct becoming a guardsman. There will be disciplinary punishments for all this, I guarantee it. And now, I want a full explanation as to why this fracas happened. But first, give me a mug of gahvey.'

'Sorry captain,' said Hart conversationally. He had known captain Trevian for a long time. 'We have no gahvey here.'

'What?' cried Trevian, appalled. He had deigned multitude offers for gahvey all morning at other towers, postponing the pleasure, thinking of spending some quality time with his old comrade Hart. Over a mug of steaming gahvey. 'No gahvey, and the two of you scrapping like juvies? What the FRAK in going on in this tower? Talk to me, Hart!'

'Well, Trevian,' answered Hart, 'it was the gahvey we were arguing about with young Falken here. You see, he forgot to buy us a pack, and I was just giving him some discipline for it.'

'Is this true?' asked Trevian, turning to Falken. 'You forgot to buy gahvey?'

'Yes, sir,' Falken answered, looking quite ill.

'And was it your turn to get it?'

'Yes sir.'

'And you just forgot? Dammit lad, do you not know the army runs on gahvey?!?'

'Sorry sir!'

'Sorry is not enough!' Trevian was quite livid now. He stood up and started pacing back and forth in front of hapless Falken 'Do you know, my aide once forgot to pack gahvey for a field trip. Do you know what I did to the man?'

'No sir.'

'I shot him.'

Falken goggled.

'But,' said captain Trevian at lenght, 'I shall not be so harsh here. If only because it would not remedy the situation, viz, the lack of gahvey. Guardsman Falken!'

'Yes sir!'

'I want you to go and get us some.'

'Get us what, sir?'

'Gahvey, lad! Are you thick?'

'No sir! I mean yes sir!'

'Good grief! Where do they breed these imbeciles! Look here, lad, you see that tower out there on the west side, right? Right! There's a road to it, down there, as you know. Now, I want you to go down, take my trike, get to that tower, and get us some gahvey. Grain, mind, not brew! Otherwise it would just get cold on the way back. Got it?'

'Yes sir!'

'Well, what are you waiting for? Get moving, soldier!!!'

Falken verily flew at the stairwell. Soon, the two veterans heard a throaty bark of a trike engine. Looking down, they could see Falken driving like a madman upon the serpentine asphalt road, taking the bends with two wheels. The two veterans looked at each other. There was no need for words. Their eyes said it all: The youths these days...


The End

*******************************************************
The story was inspired by real life event: I sat down to write one day, went to get some gahvey, I mean coffee, and realized some (sensored) had poured it all down the drain cause it had been quite old! Old? It had sat there mere two hours! You call that old? Dammit man! Etc etc...

[Skrixqueek]

Aika jännä tarina. Gahvey... heh.

Virkkeen loppuun vain yksi merkki, kiitos.

Damn it ----> Damnit!
Paitsi jos tahdoit ilmaista tarvetta padota.

Sopisi välinäytökseksi, jopa lyhyeksi sketsiksi. Gähviä ei parane kaataa viemäriin; opettavaista.

-Skrixqueek

[Datsi]

'Well, Trevian,' answered Hart, 'it was the gahvey we were arguing about with young Falken here. You see, he forgot to buy us a pack, and I was just giving him some discipline for it.'

'Is this true?' asked Trevian, turning to Falken. 'You forgot to buy gahvey?'

'Yes, sir,' Falken answered, looking quite ill.

'And was it your turn to get it?'

'Yes sir.'

'And you just forgot? Dammit lad, do you not know the army runs on gahvey?!?'

'Sorry sir!'

'Sorry is not enough!' Trevian was quite livid now. He stood up and started pacing back and forth in front of hapless Falken 'Do you know, my aide once forgot to pack gahvey for a field trip. Do you know what I did to the man?'

'No sir.'

'I shot him.'

Tässä kohtaa minä vain repesin, en voinut sille mitään

[hullukoira]

Tässä kohtaa minä vain repesin, en voinut sille mitään

Juuri tällainen palaute innostaa minua kirjoittamaan! Kiitos!!!

[Asdrubael]

Nää hupijutut ovat kyllä kieltämättä alaasi! Voit kohta tehdäkin näistä novellikokoelman!

[hullukoira]

Nää hupijutut ovat kyllä kieltämättä alaasi! Voit kohta tehdäkin näistä novellikokoelman!

Jaahas, onkos talo jo maalattu, kun ehdit lukemahan novelleja??? (Toivottavasti muistit highlightata nurkkalaudat.)

[Drakken]

Voi itku, kun hajoilin pahasti lukiessani tuota... =D
Hyvää työtä.