Destiny of the Space Marine novelli (huonoksi englanniksi)

[Ratovaari]

Näin aluksi varoituksen sanana, tämä novelli on kirjoitettu 2-3 aikaan perjantai-lauantai YÖNÄ, ja se todennäköisesti sisältää kieliopillisia virheitä.
En ota mitään vastuuta tämän novellin aiheuttamasta päänsärystä, migreenistä, epilepsiakohtauksista tai muista asioista joita tämän lukeminen saattaa tai ei saata aiheuttaa.
Mutta pidemmittä puheitta, Destiny of the Space Marine.


The Space Marine looked down, and saw what was he's destiny.
Clouds, smoke, gunshots, that's all he saw, but he knew there was more.
Green light turned on, and he jumped with his squad of Assault Marines from Saviors of Kwaan chapter.
He had done this hundreds of times, but now, he felt something different.
Just at the right time, he started engines of his Jump Pack to slow down his flight.

Everything was something he had seen before, except the foe. Eldar. But not the usual ones, no, there was something wrong.
Vehicles they used were strange. Weapons they used were strange.
Some call them as Dark Eldars, but what's the difference? They're still alien and heretics at the same time, and they must be purged.

He was a Space Marine, creation of Emperor himself, fragment of his Primarch.
In he's hands, he holds the holy tools of the Emperor. A Bolt Pistol, gun which can explode whole man into bloody mess, and a Power Weapon, a weapon, that can hit through armour as though it didn't even exist. But it wasn't one of those usually ones used by everyone, no.
This was given him by the Chapter Master himself, it being one of the holiest relics of chapter.

He gave a mark and squad dropped right at middle of battlefield.
By being slammed to ground he used hes own weight to kill one foe, with one slash with sword he killed the second.
Enemy hit hard, but he hit harder. He knew hes destiny. He knew what waited for him, if he didn't move fast, and fast he moved.
Dodge, jump, few shots, he seemed almost unstoppable!
But just as he fought, the feeling of something being wrong grew..

BANG!
He saw something had hit his battle brother. Some mutated red beast. One, that sure was not from this world.
Now he knew, what was wrong. Lightning fast, he contacted the Battle Barge Honstantius of situation. They said, that the beast wasn't the only one.
Great portals of Chaos energy had opened. Daemons of Chaos had entered this realm, and the only way to fight that immortal foe was retreat.

SMASH!
His other battle brother was smashed beneath rather large foot. Daemon. Big, ugly, red Daemon.
Withouth moment to lose, the Space Marine attacked. He knew his destiny, and right now it was to purge.
He moved lightning fast hitting the daemon, but by some unholy reason, hes hits weren't really wounding the monstrosity.

One hit, the Daemon kicked him, and the space marine had just enough time dodge the attack, by same hitting the daemons foot.
There was wound made, but it seemed like the Daemon didn't care about it.
Then, a bright light. A missile hit the daemon, missile from Thunderhawk Gunship.
Marine knew, that this battle was lost. He started hes jump pack, getting ready to jump right at the Thunderhawk.

He would, if something had not been faster. Daemon had risen again, and now had Marines leg on hes hand. Marine shot few shots, but the Daemon didn't care.
Then, a rather strange and painfull feeling, he's legs were crushed. Screaming in pain, second missile hit.
He knew he didn't have a moment to lose. Engines on, and flight to the gunship.
He hit the passenger bay, and gunship began to rise, ready to flee from battlefield. Marine was losing blood fast, and he knew, he probably wouldn't survive.

Gunship arrived to the gunship bay of the Battle Barge and apothecaries came for help. Fast diagnosis, some blood was given, wounds were burned, but marine was still weak. He asked, "Did we win? Was the planet shot down?" "Yes, the whole planet was Exterminated."
Last gasp, the marine dropped hes weapons on the ground. He had finally found his destiny.

[Weedeeo]

Ihan kiva tarina, en huomannut muita virheitä kuin artikkelien puuttumista paikoitellen ja jotain pientä.
Omasta mielestäni tarinasi on liian runollinen, ehkä hieman töksähteleväkin.

[Ratovaari]

Töksähtely saattaa osittain johtua kirjoitusajankohdasta.
Runoudellisuus oli tarkoituksella haettua, eikös kaikki viisaat ihmiset puhu ainoastaan runoudellisesti? =D

Artikkeleiden puuttuminen, eli isoin virhe mitä kirjoittaessa voi tehtä. Ikinä. Oikeesti.

[Weedeeo]

Jos tuo on sarkasmia, niin minun lukunautintoani häiritsee kyllä suuresti, jos artikkeleita puuttuu, se saa tekstin hätäisen ja amatöörimäisen oloiseksi.

[kartza]

huonoksi englanniksi tosiaan. Ei sillä, että se olisi ylivoimaisesti haitannut lukemista, mutta tekstin VOISI tarkistaa nopsaan läpi pari kertaa, eipä siinä sitten muuta... Ihan kiva!