The lost chapter (40K huumoria)

[hullukoira]

Here is something I found from D. Abnett's garbage can, whilst searching for food and discarded miniatures. No, really. It seems to be a chapter from one of his Gaunt's Ghosts books! Why he discarded it, I have no idea, but I thought to bring it to you nevertheless! Enjoy!




Chapter x


Colonel commissar Ibrahim Gaunt marched along the canal's edge. Hands clasped behind his back, he frowned at an errant thought. Late fall. Logistics were risky in such weather. And what of Milo? Upon the canal, a lonely tugboat hooted, melancholy.

Of a sudden, a gust of wind caught the colonel commissar and tossed his cap far out into the green, chilly waters of the canal. Ibrahim Gaunt halted, dismayed. Looking around to his men, he saw mad Larkin approaching with young Milo hard on his heels. Of others, there was no sight.

'Larkin!' shouted Gaunt.

Larkin started, a reverie broken. With guilty, shaking hands he pocketed a lho stick, shouldered his long las, and stepped towards Ibrahim Gaunt, the colonel commissar, with something akin to a alertness upon his face.

'Sir?' Larkin enquired, eyes shifty as usual.

'Could you get that cap for me?' Asked Gaunt, waving a hand towards the diminishing apparel. It was now only a tiny red and black blot upon the breezy watercourse.

'Say no more, sir!' grinned Larkin, squinting towars the buoyant headgear. He then wetted a finger and lifted it into the air. Nodding, he pulled out his long las in one smooth movement, took aim, and put a las round through the commissary cap. The apparell went under. For good.

'How's that for a shot?' grinned Larkin. 'Thought I had lost it, with two weeks leave behind me an everything, eh, sir?'

'Larkin, that was MY cap.'

'Eh?' Larkin started. His shifty eyes shifted form Gaunts bared head to the spot where the cap had been. He looked bewildered. Then, finally realizing his error, a look of alarm filled his mien.

'I, sir, I thought you, that you wanted to test me,' Larkin stammered, then made as to make amends. 'But look here, there is a fishing boat there! We could, me and Milo there, go out and try get your hat back...'

Ibrahim Gaunt, the colonel commissar, shook his blonde head. 'Just forget about it,' he said to the hapless Larkin. 'It's just a hat. And anyway, I think you just made it redundant. Bull's eye, I take it?'

'Yes, sir!' grinned Larkin.

'All right. Let's move on. But Larkin?'

'Yeah?'

'Not a word to anybody about this incident. Not even to Corbec. Is that clear?'

'Chrystal clear, sir!'

Larkin watched Gaunt as he turned and continued his stroll, head bent in thought. In a moment Larkin was joined by Milo. The regiment's mascot was smirking.

'What's so funny, Milo?' asked Larkin as he made to relight his lho stick. The bloody wind made it near impossible.

'That shot, Larks!' Milo enthused, pating Larkin upon the back. 'One in a million! Priceless! Man, I cannot wait to tell Corbec!'

'What?' hissed Larkin. 'Corbec? You can't tell him! Gaunt's orders! Hey! Get back here, you little frak!'

****************************************************

-Well, that's it. Man, is Danny boy so going to do me in when he finds out I've been sifting through his trash!